Coworkers

Coworker: I had a bad experience with a potato gun.

Carmel, Indiana

Overheard by: Kairow

Coworker, in earnest discussion: I think what's more of a concern these days is the complete disintegration of everything.

Croydon
England

Coworker about manager: What would I even say to him? Let's have sex again?

6th Avenue
New York City, New York

Coworker #1: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!
Coworker #2: I know it sounds stupid…
Coworker #1: No, it doesn’t just sound stupid, it is stupid.

10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri

Employee #1: Jane says that she feels nauseous. I think she’s going home.
Employee #2: Well Jane should take a course in English vocabulary, because if she feels nausea, then she feels ‘nauseated,’ not nauseous. To be nauseous is to be disgusting or foul.
Employee #1: You’re kinda a bitch.

Hadley Road
South Plainfield, New Jersey

Overheard by: Quitting soon

Male coworker: But Anne Heche is oddly hot, and she’d be okay with another woman in the bedroom. Plus, she’s insane, which makes her fun.
Female coworker: Well, guess if you’re fantasizing about someone bi and crazy she could be interesting…
Male coworker: See? See? I think she might actually be an alien. That’d be even better! Aliens are sexy.
Female coworker: No, no, now you’re just getting weird and nerdy. Aliens are not sexy.
Male coworker: I always imagined the female alien from Cocoon to be really sexy. She had a great body when the skin was on her, but there was something scary and yet awesome about the glowing part. I’d want her to keep her human skin on, but I imagine sex with her to be like nothing else you’ve ever imagined. And I imagine her kisses to taste like candy and electricity, like pop rocks or something.
Female coworker: Okay, now you’ve let me know too much information, and you’re still getting all nerdy.
Male coworker: Okay, you’re right. This is starting to sound weird.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Engineer #1: You ever have one of those drives into work where you swear they’re giving out driver’s licenses as prizes in people’s cereal in the morning?
Engineer #2: Mine came with a free decoder ring!

151 Court Street
Binghamton, New York

New girl: How do you file your customer requests?
Veteran: By subject.
New girl: But what if there are two subjects in one request?
Veteran: You pick one.

116th and Broadway
New York, New York

Conductor #1: I found a purse back there, I'm taking it up front.
(walks through the cars)
Conductor #2 on PA: Attention passengers, if anyone has a pair of red high heels to match Alan's* new bag please see him in the first car.

MARC Train
Brunswick, Maryland

Female coworker to another: Oh my… I've got wood in my mouth.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: DesignMonkey