Janitor to coworkers: Man, these customers be crazy. The other night I was moppin’ the floor, and this bitch come up to me and said, ‘It’s not time to mop the floor yet!’ Lady, do I come to your job and smack the dick outta your mouth?
Natural Food Store breakroom
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: disgruntled employee
Colleague #1: Pi is 3.14.
Colleague #2: You gotta be more accurate than that, it's 3.1415926536…
Colleague #1: No, that should be 535. If you're gonna use it as an example of accuracy…
Colleague #3: Maybe it was an example of irony? Ranting about accuracy and getting the 17th decimal place of pi wrong…
High Holborn
London
England
Peon #1: Stop yelling! You’re just like my dad!
Peon #2: Yeah, except I’m not drunk and I’m not beating you.
Braintree, Massachusetts
Overheard by: not there anymore
Female coworker, reading out loud: “Do not exceed six tablets in a 24-hour period.” To hell with that. I'm gonna get crunk off this Pamprin!
Fort Collins, Colorado
Cubicle drone to loud coworker: You know, Mike*, I can hear you from all the way over here.
Mike*: You know, Bob* I can smell you from all the way over here!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: jane
Sales guy #1: … or you know it could send to your POP3.
Sales guy #2: Don’t pretend like you know what you’re talking about.
Sales guy #1: At least I had a term. Where’s your term, motherfucker?!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Male office worker: Hold your hands out.
Female office worker: I am so tired of you squirting on me! And I don't want to be tied up unless I want to be. Got it?!
Baldwyn, Mississippi
Coworker #1, reading news headlines: Mother of 550-pound teenager has been charged with neglect.
Coworker #2: That's ridiculous, obviously the kid is well fed.
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
Co-worker #1: I just got a brand new internet!
Co-worker #2: A new internet? Is that possible?
Co-worker #1: Yeah! Looks totally different!
8100 Tyler Boulevard
Mentor, Ohio
Overheard by: Dana
