Black co-worker: You smell good; what are you wearing?
White co-worker: White Shoulders. I’ve worn it since I was sixteen.
Black co-worker: Do they make Black Shoulders?
White co-worker: Oh, we’ll let you wear the White. This is America!
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Drone #1: Are you sticking around for the 4PM meeting?
Drone #2: No, the batteries are dead in my wife’s stimulator and I have to do my husbandly duty…
Drone #1: Excuse me?
815 Allgood Road NE
Marietta, Georgia
Coworker #1: Did you watch The Office last night?
Coworker #2: Yeah, but I was pretty high, so I don’t remember if the parts that I thought were funny actually happened.
3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Bunny
Manager to lead: Go ahead and audit her drawer tonight. We're supposed to audit everyone once a week.
Cashier: Go ahead, since it'll be quick. How often are my drawers off anyway?
Passing coworker: Every. Night.
Lee's Summit, Missouri
Overheard by: Alicia
Coworker: His problem is that he has two perfectly good legs attached to an asshole. He needs to have his legs removed so he can be a whole asshole.
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: very amused
Co-worker #1: User Name is your username, and Password is your password.
Co-worker #2: That sounds easy enough.
Co-worker #1: .And if you forget, I have it on a yellow stickie.
75 Hawthorne Street
San Francisco, California
Supervisor (in a sing-song voice): Sex with Steven is more boring than church.
Employee #1: (humming along)
Supervisor: Sex with Steven is like…a handjob during Golden Girls.
Employee #1: Sex with Steven is like getting off on a baby carrot.
Employee #2: A baby pickle.
Employee #1: Whatever. Sex with Steven is…like an orgy with old people.
(pause)
Supervisor : You took it too far.
Hamilton
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: some girl.
Employee to coworker who won't stop talking: Oh, yeah, you get all mouthy now. But when the auditors come by, you get quiet and have diarrhea.
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: factory drone
Not so bright coworker: Yeah, I'll probably let my daughter get a tattoo when she turns 16… If she really knows what she wants. I'll even pay for it.
Des Moines, Iowa
Overheard by: coolerthanme
Admin: What time is it in France?
Worker: I think it’s February.
Admin: Really?
3239 Satellite Boulevard
Duluth, Georgia
