Cubicle #1: I just realized Monday is your birthday. You’ll be…28?
Cubicle #2: Yeah. You know, ten years ago I thought I’d be all married with kids by now. Living in Red Bank or Cheesequake or something.
Cubicle #1: Wow, thank god none of that came true.
Cubicle #2: I know.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Partner #1: The real cute one?
Partner #2: Yeah.
Partner #1: Yeah, she’s married.
Partner #2: Damn it!
Partner #3: That’s how I like ’em. cute, and married.
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
Cube #1: Did you know you can type “deferred” with one hand?
Cube #2: Couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: Yeah…but you can type it with one hand.
Cube #2: Yeah…couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: No…I mean, it means you can type it with one hand; the letters are all within one inch of each other. D-e-f-e-r-r-e-d.
Cube #2: Oh!…I definitely spelled that wrong.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Urinal #1: I am going home for the day. Take care, you have a good one.
Urinal #2: Thanks; I didn’t even know you were looking.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Cube #1: You know what? I wish I was drinking like…some King Cobra right now.
Cube #2: Oh, I know.
Cube #1: Or like a log of chocolate.
Cube #2: Yeah. Chocolate. In the shape of an actual log.
Cube #1: Yeah.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker on phone: Hello?…Do I have a minute to come up for a second?
385 Benedict Street
Port Townsend, Washington
Worker on phone: When can you come in today?…Well, I don’t know how long it takes to file an Apprehended Violence Order.
94 Todd Street
Alice Springs, Northern Territory
Australia
Overheard by: Daniel Waudby
Worker #1: Look, the window cleaners are here.
Worker #2: Aren’t they freezing? It’s 15 degrees out.
Worker #1: Oh no, the water they’re using is hot.
25800 Northwestern Highway
Southfield, Missouri
News rep #1: The reporter wants an expert on idols and graven images…Is it “graven” or “craven”? I couldn’t really hear him.
News rep #2: I don’t know, let me look it up…”Craven: Characterized by abject fear; cowardly.”
News rep #1: Hmm…I don’t know…Is it “graven” or “craven” images?
Director of News: It’s “craven”. Definitely. Those words always go together: craven images.
200 South Craig Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Co-worker: You know, if this office were a reality show it would be called Derm’d If You Do And Derm’d If You Don’t. I would go to the bathroom to bitch to the camera in the mirror about our shitty patients.
675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois
