Co-worker, on phone with 9-year-old son: I’m not happy with you. I heard you were a bad boy at camp. They told me you hit one of the other kids with a golf club. You shouldn’t do that. You could hurt someone.
371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey
Co-worker, on phone with 9-year-old son: I’m not happy with you. I heard you were a bad boy at camp. They told me you hit one of the other kids with a golf club. You shouldn’t do that. You could hurt someone.
371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey
Co-Worker #1: Hey, I got a new joke. Anyone want to hear it?
Co-Worker #2: Not if it involves poop.
Co-Worker #3: Or chickens.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: disturbed
IT chick: Hey, where’s my homies?
Admin: What homies?
IT chick: Devon* and the little guy.
Admin, incredulous: There’s a little guy?!
Little guy in corner, quietly: Thanks.
3559 Belgium Lane
San Antonio, Texas
Ghetto IT guy: It took me mad long to dig my car out. It was frozen in. I had to use one of the ice chopping things. I was going to town, it looked like I was cutting a huge pile of coke. I was slicing in rows up the whole thing.
IT girl: Ummm… Did you get your car out?
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Pepsi please
Coworker to another: Better. I like it. When I see wood, it's a good thing.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Someone finally cleaned off their desk
Ad rep #1: The best movie is on TV tonight.
Ad rep #2: What movie is that?
Ad rep #1: Gone with the Wind.
Ad rep #2: Is that the same as…? No, that’s A Walk in the Clouds.
Programmers: What?!
Ad rep #2: I got confused — they’re similar. Well, which one is Gone with the Wind?
Ad rep #1: It has Clark Gable.
Ad rep #2: Is that the guy that played Superman?
120 West 1st Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.
At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.
In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.
[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Breanna Freeman
Coworker in lunchroom: I just wanted a cake that said “your hair smells like lettuce”, and I shouldn't have to explain why!
Washington, DC
Cube dweller, about post-it: Do you want a fresh one or a used one? (pause) Heh, heh… Funny.
Office dweller: Um, well, can I have some tape?
Cube dweller: You're so needy.
Kentucky
Overheard by: Lucy
Disgruntled worker: It would be easier if people just walked around with shirts that said, ‘I steal shit.’
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
