Employee #1: My brother-in-law just found out that he’s having a boy. It’s their third kid.
Employee #2: Wow, three? I’m only planning on having two.
Employee #1: What’s wrong with three kids?
Employee #2: Nothing’s wrong with it, but I believe in zero population growth.
Employee #3: That’s not for normal people, that’s for families in like China and India…admit it, you’re probably going to kill your girl babies too.
130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California
Coworker: You're pissed at me because Dave* wants to eat you!?
Alpharetta, Georgia
Woman on phone: 4, 5, 3, P as in Peter, T as in Tom, Q as in…Cuba.
3350 Tillamook Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Carrie Cole
Male coworker: I heard you failed your test.
Female coworker: I didn't really fail. I just got like a really, really low score.
Houston, Texas
Man: Wow, I still can't believe they're laying off so many people. It's going to be really sad.
Woman: Yeah! Just think how little our potluck days are gonna be!
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: Oh my god, I'm so tired, can we get coffee?
Coworker #2: Sure, I'll just finish this… (phone rings)
Coworker #1, answering phone: Good morning, Melody sleeping!
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: V
Coworker on cell: Hey, I'm just calling to see if you're knee-deep in roach turds.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Front desk girl to maintenance guy, about her empty water bottle: Yeah, there were no babies in it like last time.
5055 International Boulevard
North Charleston, South Carolina
Office peon #1: I met my husband in Ireland, but he’s from South Africa originally.
Office peon #2: You’re going to have such beautiful babies.
Office peon #1: Well, I think so, but why do you?
Office peon #2: Half-black babies are always beautiful.
Office peon #1: My husband isn’t black.
Office peon #2: He’s not?
Office peon #3: Sally*, not everyone in South Africa is black. In fact, the majority of South Africans are white. Haven’t you heard of apartheid?
Office peon #2: Yeah, I guess.
Town Street
Columbus, Ohio
Coworker #1: (hiccups)
Coworker #2: Whatever you're drinking, I want some!
St. Paul, Minneosta
