Coworkers

Interviewer #1: You have had many jobs at that same company. Can you describe your work environment?
Forty-six-year-old proper woman: My company liked to move us around a lot so we got experience in different departments.
Interviewer #1: Was this a standard practice?
Woman: Oh, yes. They did that for everyone working at the restaurant’s HQ. Every six months we would move from department to department. We liked to call it “tossing the salad.”
Interviewer #1: Excuse me?
Interviewer #2: [Spits out his water.]Interviewers #3,4, and 5: [Look away and laugh uncontrollably]Woman: I got my salad tossed every six months, but in the past year moved it up to every three months. It’s all part of the manager training program.
Interviewer #6: Did you like getting your salad tossed?
Woman: Yes, I did.
Interviewer #6: It must take some getting used to. We have never tossed salads here, but that is not to say we won’t someday.
Woman: I would highly recommend it.

Church Street
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: PS

Walking man: Hey, John.
Sitting man: Sphincter says what?
Walking man: What?
Sitting man: Sphincter says what?
Walking man: What are you, five? This is a professional office.
Sitting man: You fell for it.

Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Dennis Carroll

Female worker about to take a walk: You sure you don’t want to go with me?
Male worker: No.
Female worker: I’ll go topless.

515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Glad I’m not leaving my cube for another hour

Worker #1: They’re out of orange juice again.
Worker #2: Yeah, and they haven’t refilled the cocoa slot, either.
Worker #1: They’re also out of Dr. Pepper.
Worker #3: Well, you could just have the Diet Dr. Pepper.
Worker #1: I’m not an animal!

1166 Sixth Avenue
New York, New York

Worker #1: Hey, man, you got one of them stick stain remover things?
Worker #2: Hell yes I do!
Worker #1: You know if it work on blood?

3908 Avenue B
Austin, Texas

Woman on the phone in the HEAT assistance office: I can’t talk right now, I’m in HEAT.

533 East 26th Street
Ogden, Utah

Overheard by: I see it Now

Guy: I’m writing this script that takes place in an office and I was wondering, is toner flammable?

570 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Ethan

Tornado siren sounds for weekly testing.

Co-Worker #1: Stop, drop, and roll?
Co-Worker #2: Uh, no, that’s for a fire. That’s the bend over and kiss your ass goodbye siren.

301 Industrial Boulevard
Conway, Arkansas

Overheard by: JustDenise

Partner #1: Are you coming to the Fourth of July party?
Partner #2: When is it?

16th Street and M Street, NW
Washington, DC

Co-worker #1: That’s what I love about Jessica*; she’s always so quiet. Never complains about anything.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and if you had a lobotomy you’d do the same thing.

25 Winthrop Street
Worcester, Massachusetts