Engineer: Where do I put this cooler?
Scientist #1: You know what that cooler is?
Engineer: Um, no.
Scientist #1: That’s my old date cooler.
Scientist #2: Huh?
Scientist #1: ‘Cause it’s tall enough for a bottle of wine.
Scientist #2: I had a cooler too, for organs.
Engineer: This one’s tall enough for a whole lung!
Highland Avenue
Cheshire, Connecticut
Genius on phone: Hey, man… what’s going on? So I heard that two cops shot a dude, and I was just wondering if it was you.
44th Street & Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Speechless
Girl: Hey, Pete*, are you feeling smart today?
Guy #1: Maybe, why?
Girl: Do you know if Korea is a separate country, or is it, like, part of China or Japan?
Guy #1: I have no idea. Why do you need to know?
Girl: I’m trying to look up UPS rates for Korea, but I can’t find Korea.
Guy #1: Troy*!
Guy #2: Yes?
Guy #1: Is Korea a separate country from China or Japan?
Guy #2: Yes.
Girl: OK, well, I can’t find it on the drop-down. Is it called something else?
Guy #2: Republic of Korea?
Girl: No.
Guy #2: South Korea?
Girl: Oh… OK, there it is!
Phoenix, Arizona
Blood drive participant: My blood is faster than your blood!
1924 Alcoa Highway
Knoxville, Tennessee
Devout drinker: So if you think about it… Moses would want you to be drunk right now.
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Converting to Judaism
Grease monkey #1: That woman over there…
Grease monkey #2: Yeah?
Grease monkey #1: Is she deaf or something?
Grease monkey #2: Yeah, she’s deaf.
Grease monkey #1: But she looks just like any other woman, yo!
Jiffy Lube, Rosecrans Boulevard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: BigWig
Assistant: Let me see if she’s available… Missy, do you want to talk to a Janie* at US, Inc.*?
Missy: She’s a dumbass… Yeah, I want to talk to her.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.
Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle
Girl #1: My boyfriend is in the pen.
Girl #2: For how long?
Girl #1: He’s been there for three years.
Girl #2: Wow! You’ve been faithful to him for three years?
Girl #1: My heart has been…
2720 Villa Prom
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: FrancesDanger
Co-Worker: You should move to Mississippi, so your children won’t have to go to school with all those black kids. But people in Mississippi are really prejudiced though…
Memphis, Tennessee
