Office guy: The spread is great! What are these? (points at mini cream puffs)
Office girl: I don't know, just try one.
Office guy: Um, okay.
Office girl, after popping one in her mouth: Ohmigod! I just had a squirt of awesomeness in my mouth!
Coral Gables, Florida
Overheard by: Dianna Plasencia
Female coworker, looking out the window: Aw, look at the little kids, they're so cute!
Male coworker: I hate kids.
Female coworker: Why?
Male coworker: They're just too small to be natural…
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Idris
Coworker on the phone: Once I stabbed myself in the leg with a knife, and my husband made me a BLT sandwich.
Butler, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Benjamin
Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!
Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois
Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle
Female coworker #1: So I bought this Tupperware to help wildlife. It comes in different colors and designs. This one has dolphins, and one of the others has monkeys on it.
Female coworker #2, mockingly: You are so fucking queer.
Female coworker #1, shouting: I'll show you fucking queer!
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Shocked & Awed
Editor: Did he use the word ‘genitalia’ at all?
Older editor: Or ‘goodies’?
20-something female reporter: It’s such a Latin-sounding word.
Older editor: I know, ‘goodies’ really is.
20-something female reporter: Genitalia. It’s such a beautiful word. It just rolls right off the tongue.
Newsroom, Main Street
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: Quietly Working at My Desk
Dude: All my meth addict friends are like, ‘That’s so cool. You have a job.’
Portland, Oregon
Analyst #1: I pooped next to the CEO today.
Analyst #2: Like, in his office?
1 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Paul
Female manager to male manager as screensaver turns on during presentation: You need to jiggle your thing.
New York, New York
Overheard by: i LOVE my job
Co-worker: I mean, we don’t really work in an office. We don’t even have desks. Okay, I do have a desk but it’s not, like, mine. It’s just a desk I’m at every day that I keep all my shit at. But it doesn’t have my name on it. Or a chair.
1050 Caribbean Way
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Word Power
