Know-it-all peon: I swear, every invention in this world was invented for war. Highways, the Internet — everything! Don’t you read?
Lady peon: Okay, Eric*! What about perms? Hot rollers weren’t made for war!
Know-it-all peon: Perms aren’t inventions.
Lady peon: My ass, they aren’t!
Waterloo, Iowa
Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!
Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado
Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.
Renton, Washington
Cube dude: I don’t mean this to be harsh, but, you know, the Talmud wasn’t exactly written just to justify your fashion choices.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Male coworker #1: Do you know anything about buying a prom dress?
Male coworker #2: Hell no.
Male coworker #1: Well, I need one pronto!
Washington, DC
Peon to another: You know, that game where they throw the horseshoes.
Toronto
Canadia
Office lady #1: I’m going to a sleep-away camp for ten-year-olds this weekend.
Office lady #2: Well, at least there will be alcohol.
1 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: sarcastro
Coworker, after being asked several times if she likes a coworker's new shoes: No, they're ugly like your face.
Missoula, Montana
Coworker: There are people making out on the lawn! [Everyone rushes to window to look.]
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Thanking God I’m not white trash
Coworker #1: Did you inhale?
Coworker #2: I never exhaled!
Branchburg, New Jersey
