Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Co-worker: This place runs like a well-oiled banana.
3000 Mountain Creek Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Coworker #1: If being married is so bad, why are you still married?
Coworker #2: It's cheaper to keep her!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Althoff
Agent #1: Dude, I haven't talked to you in forever.
Agent #2: Man, you get weirded out all the time.
Agent #1: Me!? I never get weirded out, man.
Agent #2: What about that time I touched your ear?
Agent #1: Yeah, that was weird.
Ontario
Canadia
Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co-worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co-worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co-worker: Right.
DWP
Bathgate
Scotland
Coworker to boss: I think I found someone. She is the president of the mortuary science club, she has a ton of experience.
Boss: Perfect.
Manhattan, New York
Male coworker, almost bumping into female coworker: You know, one of these days we're going to totally run into each other and… bang! (smacks hands together)
Female coworker: I know!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Mike H
Office worker: Lemme forward you this e-mail from slave whore Ella*!
BDSM Production Company
Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Joy
Coworker to another, about bus driver: I couldn't even get it out of my mouth before he started bellowing.
Swiftwater, Pennsylvania
Coworker on phone: Listen, there’s a lot to be said for being punched in the face.
1020 19th Street NW
Washington DC
Overheard by: I just work here
Woman #1: Heard from your old high school boyfriend lately?
Woman #2: No. He’s traveling. Moving to Florida. Wife number three.
Woman #1: Would you nail him again?
Woman #2: In a heartbeat. Best in oral sex, hands down.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Makin’ Copies
