Coworker #1, describing skydiving experience: I passed out from the excitement!
Coworker #2: So, you're like those goats that faint when you startle them.
Coworker #1: Yes!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jen
Coworker #1, describing skydiving experience: I passed out from the excitement!
Coworker #2: So, you're like those goats that faint when you startle them.
Coworker #1: Yes!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jen
Older Asian lady: Oh, you shaved your beard off!
IT guy: Yep!
Older Asian lady: Now I don't have to be afraid of you.
IT guy: What?
Older Asian lady: Every time I saw you with your beard, I was afraid you were going to mug me, but now you don't look like a mugger.
IT guy: Thanks… I think?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Amused at Asian ladies…
Hostess: How about a bumblebee?
Server: He was asking about kinds of birds, not bugs.
Hostess: Same difference.
Server: Lots of things fly that aren't birds, like bats.
Hostess: Bats are birds.
Server: Bats are mammals!
Hostess: Birds are mammals.
Server, apoplectic: Birds are birds!
Restaurant
Charleston, South Carolina
Maintenance worker, running into hotel lobby: Look at my union suit! It's a two piece! It was a one piece but I cut it in half because it was ridin' my crotch like a motherfucker!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Desk clerk
District manager: That's like a yak swimming in the Atlantic!
Mission Viejo, California
Overheard by: Yak Overboard
Coworker to another, fresh out of reconstructive shoulder surgery: You can't even flip people off. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who cannot raise his middle finger.
Financial District
Manhattan, New York
Store manager: These new shoes make me feel like I'm walking on dead babies. (pause) You know, before they hit rigor mortis.
Kitchener
Canadia
Overheard by: Drewerd
HR director: You look like hell. I mean, seriously exhausted.
HR manager: Thanks. That makes me feel tons better. Let me try it–you look like you're coming off of a three-day bender!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female bookseller: How long does it usually take to get your deposit back on an apartment?
Male bookseller: It could be two or three months, depending on how big of an asshole they want to be.
Female bookseller: Hm. (pause) Yeah, I prefer smaller assholes.
Bookstore
Des Moines, Iowa
Cube rat on phone: I hate those poops that leave you feeling like you spent a night in jail!
Fairbanks, Alaska
