Well You Did Plan the Whole Funeral

Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it's fine, let's just use Wite-Out, he won't know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn't you read the card? Or look at it? It's blue, how's “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it's always someone's birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”

Arizona

Overheard by: Shocked in AZ

Posted on June 18, 2022
Arizona, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Death, Default, Family, General Idiocy, Questions

…So Looks Like You've Got Egg on Your Face.

Editor: I don't think the parallel between origami and dead chicken is made well enough.

Austin, Texas

Posted on June 11, 2022
Animals, Compare and contrast, Death, Meals and Snacks, Texas, Writers and Editors

Upstate New York: A Simulation.

Graphic designer to PR guy : But I know what you mean, all black people do look the same.

Rochester, New York

Posted on June 7, 2022
Compare and contrast, Designers and Photographers, Employees, General Idiocy, New York, Physical Appearance, Race

Tonight, on Sim Possible…

Befuddled coworker to supervisor: The good news is I developed a system so that I wouldn't lose any more SIM cards. The bad news is I lost one.

Independence Parkway
Fort Worth, Texas

Overheard by: Jet Jaguar

Posted on June 6, 2022
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Texas

You Mean Shrimp Chow Mane?

Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!

Des Moines, Iowa

Posted on June 5, 2022
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Iowa, Meals and Snacks, Sensory Experiences

Are You Saying You Don't Appreciate the Tutu?

Male program manager to another: Well, it's better than imagining you in spandex!
Coworker in next cubicle: At least it's not a thong.

Utah

Overheard by: Snickering Intern

Posted on May 31, 2022
Bosses, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Physical Appearance, Utah

Oh Look, Now I've Broken a Nail!

Young mother pushing baby carriage to old woman holding door for her: Oh, thanks. I think about how hard it must be for people in wheelchairs, but I think this is worse, because I always have so much to carry.

Kent, Ohio

Overheard by: elizabetz