Professor on phone: Do you know if Diane is right or left handed?
Office administrator: Ummm… I have no idea, why?
Professor on phone: Because I'm trying to figure out who left me this note.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Tilla
Professor on phone: Do you know if Diane is right or left handed?
Office administrator: Ummm… I have no idea, why?
Professor on phone: Because I'm trying to figure out who left me this note.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Tilla
Waitress #1, to customer: I've tried that before, except I don't really like runny eggs, so I usually don't get it. It's good, though. Poached eggs look too much like an abortion. (pauses) I probably shouldn't have said that…
Waitress #2, overhearing: Wait, what looks like an abortion?
Waitress #1: Poached eggs.
Waitress #2: Oh. (pause) Yeah, they do.
Café
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I wouldn't know. I've never had one.
Project manager: I’m like herpes. I don’t go away.
New York City, New York
Accountant using secretary's copier: Yeah, I guess you can slide in there and make a copy.
Partner, overhearing: Slide? The electric slide?
(secretary groans)
Partner: What, is that like the worst dance ever?
Secretary: Yeah. 'cuz at least the chicken dance is, like, fun.
Partner: That, and it makes sense, because y'know, that's how chickens dance! (demonstrates by flapping)
Manhattan, New York
[coworkers discussing switching from current ordering system to proposed new system]Bob: So, it would be like trading in your Honda civic hybrid for an old Schwinn?
Jill: Um, no. It would be like trading in my hybrid for a fucking rusted-out Yugo propped up on cinder blocks in my front yard.
Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: snoopdude
Maintenance foreman talking to vendor about fittings: When I say air, I’m talking about nitrogen.
Southlake Boulevard
Richmond, Virginia
Boss, knowingly: It's like trying to put makeup on a cat, it just doesn't stay on…
Roanoke, Virginia
Office worker, about project manager's shaved head: You look like a penis.
Project manager: You're a vagina.
Office worker: Fine China!
Parsons, Kansas
Male engineer: Yeah, I've seen him around, in the hallways. Smoking out front.
Female engineer: He looks weird. Kind of like a really huge tall kid, kind of like a mongoose-camel hybrid.
Manhattan, New York
Manager: Sorry I’m late. I was upstairs looking for pictures of Conway Twitty to print and scare Marie with. He’s her Freddie Kruger.
Kanawha Boulevard West
Charleston, West Virginia
Overheard by: CubReporter
