Self-conscious colleague: Oh, I don't look very nice!
Supportive colleague: Yes, you do. Let me look (pause) No, you look like a dickhead.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Self-conscious colleague: Oh, I don't look very nice!
Supportive colleague: Yes, you do. Let me look (pause) No, you look like a dickhead.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Worker getting up from corner of a desk: Oh my god, I think I sat on a nerve… My penis is numb! You know the technique “the stranger” where you sit on your hand?
Coworker: Yeah.
Numb worker: This is the opposite of that, it's like I have someone else's penis in my pants right now.
168th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Boss: (reaches for candy from office candy jar)
Subordinate: Don't eat the chocolate bunny candies, those things are creepy.
Boss: I've put weirder things in my mouth.
Manhattan, New York
New guy: You tend to put a lot of extraneous information in your reports.
Lifer: “Extraneous”? There's one I don't hear often. I generally get “terse.”
New guy: Oh, I just think “extraneous” is a better adjective.
Lifer: They are opposites!
Irvine, California
Overheard by: never a dull moment
Gay server #1: We’ll be meeting that non-lesbian who looks just like a guy.
Gay server #2: Dibs on her anus.
[pause]Gay server #1: It’s always about the anus with you, isn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Boss (walks in and says, deadpan): My wife had a stripper over this weekend and now my entire house smells like coconut oil.
Victoria Parade
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Feeling inqdequate about MY weekend…
College recruiter: I don't feel like I drink too much, but I certainly feel like I get hungover too often.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: i feel that.
Person #1: My vagina is as fucked as the Gaza strip.
Person #2: Can I suggest a nice Jewish gyno?
Person #1: I don't want her to colonize my vag. Monistat will work just fine.
Person #2: You could just shove some Challah bread up there and have the yeast go to town on your sorry ghettoized crotch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Engineer to another: What'd you just say? My ass is grass? And you're the lawnmower?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jt
Boss: Carl! It's a good thing you aren't a dog or I'd have put you down by now!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: BFScollegegirl
