Employee #1: Dude, every time we have to do heavy lifting you start drinking and then everybody sees you drinking and they want to start drinking. You need to stop drinking before the work is done.
Employee #2: I understand that you don’t like me drinking before the work is done, but i dont know what the answer to this problem is.
3553 31 Street NW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Co-worker: For a long time I thought [Eric] was a slacker, but now that he’s been sick for three days and my workload is unaffected, I’ve become totally convinced that he does nothing here.
101 Auto Park Circle
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.
Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.
2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia
Manager: How’re you doing? You’re not overworked, are you? I’m not giving you too much to do, am I?
Worker-bee: No, I’m okay…
Manager: Good, because I’m just going to keep giving you stuff to do until you tell me to fuck off.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1: Hey, want to go outside to smoke?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I need to hit the can first.
Coworker #1: I already went.
Coworker #2: That wasn't an invitation.
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Office girl: I can't stop thinking about that one-eyed monster that visits me in my dreams at night.
Brampton
Canadia
Marketing guy to PR girl: You'd better go home and eat your asparagus and get some sleep, because we have to be up at the crack of shitty dawn tomorrow.
Ontario
Canadia
Grad student female: My dad's a mailman.
Grad student male: Really? Mine was a milkman.
Grad student female: There was a milkman?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: mike sereny
Office lady on phone: No, I'm not getting Dave to help… Hell, you know what men think six inches is!
British Columbia
Canadia
