Weight Watchers orator: Does anyone have any good news they’d like to share with us this week?
Fat lady: Yes. I went to my gynecologist for my checkup this week, and he said now that I’ve lost weight, it’s much easier to examine me because now there are fewer folds.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.
Financial District
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alan
Customer: Can I have one of these items that is in a box?
Employee: Of course [retrieves item].
Customer: Can you check to make sure it isn’t broken?
Employee: No problem! [Cuts tape and opens box.]Customer: Great! Now, can I have one that hasn’t been opened?
670 University Avenue
Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island
Canadia
Overheard by: Shaking Head in Disbelief
Secretary: This photocopier is broken.
Office service staff: Why, what's it doing?
Secretary: Well, I tried to make a color copy, but it came out black and white.
Office service staff, looking at original: Um, your original is black and white.
Secretary: Yes, I know, I thought it would insert color onto it.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Legally Retarded
Office mole #1: Guess who's not coming to your birthday?
Office mole #2: Jesus Christ?
Parksville
Canadia
Overheard by: Unfortunate bystander
Supervisor: Now, you will never truly experience hallway sex until you're married.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Worker #1: Ow! I just gave my face a paper cut!
Worker #2: Are you serious?
Worker #1: Uh…no.
685 Cathcart Street
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: Timmy O’ Toole
Employee #1: My god, I smell something.
Employee #2: Does it smell like scent?
Employee #1: Yeah.
Employee #2: Don't worry, it was me and Kevin having a deodorant war.
Downtown Toronto
Canadia
Lower-middle management: I know you're having lunch, but I'm trying to get this done by the end of the day…
Borderline wage-slave: Sure! And you don't care who gets trampled in your little march to “progress”!
Lower-middle management: Um, I'll come back later then…
Borderline wage-slave (cheerfully): Okay! See you later!
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
Co-worker #1: How’s the new baby?
Co-worker #2: She’s doing great thanks!
Co-worker #1: Does she have hair?
Co-worker #2: She’s got tonnes of hair!
Co-worker #1: How about eyes?
Co-worker #2: …Yes, she has eyes…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
