Canadia

Student: Let’s play the penis game!

Religion class, All Saints High School
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Cube monkey #1: I’m losing my will to live.
Cube monkey #2: Would a tiny peanut butter cookie help?

Calgary
Canada

Guy: The movie wasn’t very good, but the chick was super hot. She was, like, half Chinese, half normal.

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Supervisor

Female VP: I have about three nanoseconds to get to the washroom before everything goes very wrong down there. (later, walking back into the office, announces loudly) I made it!

Toronto
Canadia

Female cube dweller: I'm saving your spit.
Male cube dweller: My spit is great!

Winnipeg
Canadia

Overheard by: the Student

Coworker: So they were a nice group of girls.
Boss: Were they bright?
Coworker: Not overly. They were, umm, nice.
Boss: That's good. I like that. (both walk out the door)

Toronto
Canadia

Agent: Oh, now I remember why I don’t usually drink pee. It always makes me have to go to the washroom… Tea. Tea! I meant tea!… Fuck you all.

1616 27th Avenue Northeast
Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Overheard by: Didn’t believe him

Male boss: I want you to know that was awesomely wicked!
Female worker, just exiting ladies’ room: You can hear what people do in there?
Male boss: No! No… I meant, that e-mail you sent last week.

Kitchener, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Notdaboss

Male cube rat: What are we doing for lunch? I’m craving meat.
Female cube rat #1, grinning: What kind of meat?
Male cube rat: Hmmm… A big, juicy steak, with a side of fried chicken.
Female cube rat #2: How about a Reuben sandwich?
Male cube rat: No, no, I don’t want female meat — I want man meat!
All within earshot: Reeeally?!
Male cube rat: Awww, crap.

2916 21st Street NE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Neverlivingitdown

Customer service agent, ending phone call: Thank you for calling. Is there anything else you need to help us with today?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Sars