Canadia

The Picture Says It All, Dear Reader

Cubicle mate: When he sings “My Corona,” is he talking about his beer? (later, once lyrics are explained) What the hell is a “Sharona,” anyway?

Scarborough
Canadia

Coworker #1: Did you hear about that cat that predicts people's deaths?
Coworker #2: Yep, scarrrry.
Coworker #1: I love cats.

London
Ontario
Canadia

Tech support worker: This is not a train yard, and I am not a hobo.

Ontario
Canadia

Consultant on phone: You need to set corporate goals. Without goals, you’re like a boat on the water.

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Frumious Bandersnatch

Employee on the phone: No, it's just… Well, it's a hermathodite (pause) No! The form, not me.

Ontario
Canadia

Student #1: Is her name Johnson or Johnston?
Student #2: It's Johnston, stupid! “Johnson” is another way to say penis.

Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Ms. Johnston

Woman: …And I love him. But last night I was so embarrased — I farted while we were making love.
Girl: Ew! That’s so gross, you did not fart.
Woman: What the hell do you mean?
Girl: You queefed, okay?

4139 – 98 Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Dayton

Middle-aged lady to others in lunchroom: I don’t know. For me, whenever there is male full-frontal nudity, the movie instantly becomes a comedy.

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Guy #1: You know what's a bad way to go? Velociraptors.
Guy #2: I'm not afraid of them anymore. I'd say the T-Rex is worse.
Guy #1: Come on–everybody chooses the man-eating tiger.
Guy #2: Or ape.
(pause)
Guy #1: I wouldn't mind working on a farm.

Victoria
BC
Canadia

Customer: I think you're making that up.
Employee: I think you're trespassing.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia