Hotel guest: Do you have any forks?
Girl at front desk: Yeah, how many would you like?
Hotel guest: Two. But they're forks, right? Not sporks? You know what sporks are, right?
Girl at front desk: Yes, they're hybrid spoon/fork things.
Hotel guest: Yeah… Reminds me of when I was in prison.
Hawthorne, California
Overheard by: …what?
Religious coworker: I can probably get them to take your offer.
Religious owner: You're my best friend. You're trying to bump Jesus and Sandy out the way!
Office Hallway
San Diego, California
Overheard by: b.andre
Producer: I promise you, strawberry tastes better than ass.
Culver City, California
Overheard by: LaLa Land
Coworker: Gather more than five people together in one place, and odds are that at least one will be a shit-munching little crap-weasel.
Ventura, California
Overheard by: Tom
Female: Dude, did I tell you what happened the last time we ate here together?
Male little person: No, what?
Female: Sheila* saw us and said to me “Dude, I totally saw you eating lunch with a midget. What's up with that?”
Male little person: Ummmm, okay.
Female: But I said “Oh, I know I was totally with a midget, but he has the hugest cock ever. I've totally seen it.”
Male little person: Ummmm, okay. Thanks for the recommendation, I guess?
Female: She said she's going to call you.
Sacramento, California
New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.
Menlo Park, California
Sales rep, about receptionist's coat: What kind of fur is that? Gerbil?
Receptionist: No, I think it's some kind of fox, but it's spelled “f-a-u…”
Los Angeles, California
Boss to secretary: Have you seen my pants? Check behind the door.
Los Osos, California
Employee to coworker: You left your pot in the back of my car. (office talk stops) Er…your cooking pot.
Costa Mesa, California
Woman on speakerphone: Get off my back! Now!!
Coworker on phone: Uh, excuse me??
Woman on speakerphone, flustered: Sorry…I meant my cat.
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: bluesage
