I Call That Time “The Lost Years”

Associate: No, I don’t eat dog food. Maybe I used to…

Vernon Hills, Illinois

Overheard by: just buying candy

Posted on March 31, 2008
Animals, Bosses, Default, Illinois, Meals and Snacks

He Couldn’t Stop and Had to Be Put Down

Project coordinator on phone: They moved people into my area… No! They already moved them into my area… Yes, I know it’s my area, dammit! I already peed on the desks and claimed them as mine!

Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: Still can’t stop laughing!!!

Posted on March 27, 2008
Bosses, Default, Geography & History, Gripes, Virginia

Now You Know Everything I Know

Director of operations: The faster you run it, the faster it goes.

Kibler Street
New Washington, Ohio

Overheard by: What?!?

Posted on March 26, 2008
Advice, Bosses, Default, Ohio

And by “Doing Things Right” I Mean We’re Slouching Toward Mediocrity

Manager: I don’t know how you do things at your branch, but around here, we cut corners.
Sales associate: So basically you’re saying that you are only doing things right because I am here?
Manager: Exactly. Enjoy your visit.

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Hand me the Scissors…

Posted on March 25, 2008
Bosses, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Default, Nebraska, Sales

Okay, Okay, She Gets the Jizzt.

Contractor: Ma’am, just so you know for the next time we’re called in, caulking is not spelled C-O-C-K-I-N-G. It’s C-A-U-L-K-I-N-G.
Red-faced manager: Oh!

Retirement home
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Giggling

Posted on March 18, 2008
Bosses, Canadia, Consultants, Default, General Idiocy, Words

His Agenda Item Turned Out to Be a Hard One, Though

Manager #1, about speaking at staff meeting: Do you want to go first? Mine is pretty long.
Manager #2: Well, mine is really short, so yeah, it’ll be easier if I go first.

Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: biting my lip

Posted on March 13, 2008
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Massachusetts, Questions, Time Management, Words

And Stop Sending Male Enhancement Spam to Our Printer

Boss: Brandon*, no matter what you think, those pills will not make you grow three inches. Get back to work.

55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 11, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses, Default, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lies, New York

Yeah, Arnold in That Movie Was Bad Enough

CCA #1: There are so many people here who are pregnant!
CCA #2: Must be something in the water.
CCA #1: Yeah, seems like.
Male supervisor: Man, I hope I don’t get pregnant.

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on March 11, 2008
Bosses, Canadia, Customer Service, Default, Health & Hygiene, Wishes

Um. By That I Mean That I Wrote Myself a Reminder to Give You the Information You Requested.

Manager: Oh my god, I swear. You are on my ‘To Do’ list.
Designer: … Somebody get HR on the horn.

Route 1 South
West Windsor, New Jersey

Overheard by: the amazing copywriter

Posted on March 7, 2008
Bosses, Comebacks, Default, Designers and Photographers, New Jersey, Possible Sexual Harassment, Words

“Night Sweats Are the Best Thing Since Dark Side of the Moon!” Raves Rolling Stone

Manager #1: These mood swings are driving me crazy. Everyone in my house is afraid of me. They are all walking on eggshells.
Manager #2: Menopause rocks.

365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: cubicle right outside

Posted on March 6, 2008
Bosses, Comebacks, Default, Family, Feelings, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey

Bosses