Administrator: How was your Christmas?
Boss: Great. Now all I want is to get some sleep and find my underwear.
3740 Mill Creek Road
Mentone, California
Administrator: How was your Christmas?
Boss: Great. Now all I want is to get some sleep and find my underwear.
3740 Mill Creek Road
Mentone, California
VP: Have fun tomorrow!
Underling: Not that much fun, 'cause I'm going to a funeral…
Bethesda, Maryland
Co-owner of company to underling: Was she able to tell that you were vegetarian by looking at your fingers?
Branchburg, New Jersey
Boss #1: Did you prepare an overview of the meeting for the lab?
Boss #2: No.
Boss #1: Why not?
Boss #2: I didn’t go.
Boss #1: Oh, yeah, I went to the meeting.
Lab member: Did you prepare a overview?
Boss #1: No.
Clinical Science Research Building
Saint Louis, Missouri
Manager: …And this paper has a timeline for the changes that will benefit you in the coming months.
Employee: So this is kindling for the smoke you’re blowing up our asses?
1005 17th Street
Denver, Colorado
Boss: Oh hey, what are ya'll doing in the server closet?
Underling #1: He's playing with his new toy.
Boss: Cool. What's his new toy?
Underling #2, from behind server rack: Water gun.
Dallas, Texas
Admin: I am going to heaven!
Boss: What makes you think that?
Admin: I wrote my brother a letter.
Boss: How long has he been in jail?
Admin: Two years, and I have not spoken to him since my friend got killed.
Boss: Sooo, you think because you wrote him a letter you are going to heaven? Do you forgive him?
Admin: Hell no! If I see him, I will kill him. But I wrote him a letter!
Dallas, Texas
Customer service manager: Okay, now I’m going to grab my hipflask, hide behind the bushes, and drink myself stupid.
98 Toryork
North York, Ontario
Canadia
Office assistant: Do you want me to send out the “Save the Date” announcement?
Boss: Yes, thanks. That would be helpful.
Office assistant: No problem! I’m happy to spread your STD around!
Boss: [Blank stare.]Office assistant: That sounded bad. But don’t worry… I’m sure no one heard me.
Point Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I Thought This Was a Healthcare Company
Supervisor: Good job!
Needy peon: Really?
Supervisor: Yes, of course! Why don’t you ever believe me?
Needy peon: ‘Cause last week I said, ‘I trust you,’ and you said, ‘Oh, God, don’t do that!’
Supervisor: Oh, yeah…
Louisville, Kentucky
