Boss: How’s your work coming along?
Employee: Umm, well 98% of the time I don’t do anything but refresh my email…but that’s going well.
1150 15th Street
Washington, DC
Boss: How’s your work coming along?
Employee: Umm, well 98% of the time I don’t do anything but refresh my email…but that’s going well.
1150 15th Street
Washington, DC
Manager: Marcy, have you seen the trucking report for last month?
Marcy: No.
Manager: What do you mean you haven’t seen it? It was on your desk.
Marcy: Well, I think I almost saw it…
1000 River Road
Essex Junction, Vermont
Manager: There is something on the drive that is taking up 5 gig of space.
Employee: What’s taking it up?
Manager: I don’t know.
Employee: Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
Manager: What?
777 West Putnam Avenue
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: Ballsalamode
Jet-Setting boss: I have to go to fucking Appleton, Wisconsin. Appleton, Wisconsin! What am I going to do there?
Secretary: Well, there’s always cow-tipping.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Bank teller: Are you sure you sent the wire?
Branch manager: Yeah. I sent it to Sweden. Or Switzerland. Or some country that starts with an “S”.
1281 Fulton Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Bee
Boss: What should we call it? Try thinking animal names.
Employee #1: What about “Kumquat”?
Employee #2: A kumquat isn’t an animal.
Boss: I like your thinking though.
45 Main Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Boss: I need this like I need a second crucifixion.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Boss: So how are you doing? Is everything all squared away?
Peon: If by “squared away”, you mean multiple projects strewn across my desk in varying degrees of completion, then yes.
Boss: OK, good. Let me know if you need anything.
600 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Boss: Could you tell me what your holiday vacation is going to be?
Employee: I will be taking 2 weeks off as I am having a problem with my vagina.
5 minutes later: a group email asking everyone to please email their schedule.
1755 Riverside Drive
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: So I hear you had a record streak of sleeping with 16 straight women on the first date.
Worker: Yes.
Boss: So what did you do to #17 who broke the streak?
Worker: I slapped her.
Boss: Wow.
450 7th Avenue
New York, NY
