Bosses and Underlings

5PM That’s a Wrap

Boss: Did you hear what Gwyneth Paltrow named her new baby?
Peon: Yeah, Moses. That’s old news.
Boss: I wonder what she’ll name the next one.
Peon: Well, it looks like she’s going in order from the Bible. It’ll probably be Caleb or Joshua.
Boss: You sure know a lot about the Bible for someone who’s not religious.
Peon: I worked in a church for two years, it’s hard not to pick something up.
Boss: Oh yeah? My mother’s worked in a church for twenty years, and the only thing she’s picked up is drinking.

800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

Bill Clinton Was a Better President Than He Is a Campaign Manager

Boss: We never decided to postpone this issue. We just agreed that we would deal with other issues first.

Brouwersvliet, Antwerp, Belgium

We Ran Out of Monkey Wax

Research supervisor on phone: So, question — monkeys. Apparently one got a rash during the drug trial, but no one noticed because she was really hairy. Yeah, really, really hairy. She’s a hairy monkey. What do you know about that?

West Point, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alison

…These Minesweeper Games Don't Just Play Themselves

Boss: Hey, are you working hard…?
Employee: Or hardly working? Wait… I mean, “yes, I'm working hard.”

Cleveland, Ohio

Sorry, Just Filling Out a Cosmo Quiz

Senior biologist: Don’t have them call me with any technical questions. Have them call Jack* in Municipal.
Redneck engineer: Ya ever tie two cats together by the tail and throw them over a clothesline?
Senior biologist: What?!

Engineering Firm
New Cumberland, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: intern liberal biologist

A Rejected iTunes Promo

Co-worker #1: I don’t really like music.
Co-worker #2: Oh, yeah?
Co-worker #1: I think there are only 200 good songs in the history of the world.
Co-worker #2: And the rest are crap?
Co-worker #1: Well…they are no good. I have downloaded 130 of the 200 from the net, but the others are too hard to find.
Co-worker #2: Ohhhhkay.

2300 Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado

5PM Out of Here

Peon: [Katie] said I’d be fired because of my hair.
VP: I don’t fire people for having stupid hair.

500 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: TC Ledger

Just Be Discreet: Here's a Straw

Phone monkey to supervisor getting beer out of bag: So, can I drink this at my desk or do I have to go outside?

Government Call Centre
Canberra
Australia

Reader Challenge: Take Your Office Mary Out to Lunch

Boss: Have you fixed that invoice?
Minion: Yeah! It was totally magical — Mary* thinks I’m awesome, and she’s going to do some stuff in the system and the invoice will be fixed!
Boss: So, we’re getting paid?
Minion: Yeah! Magical Mary will fix it, I’ll send it out, and we’ll get paid! Hooray for everyone!

200 Harry S. Truman Parkway
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: Rica

But Here’s One for the Record Books…

Boss: I smell fart.
Male coworker: Yeah, I smell fart.
Female coworker: It smells like fart.
Male coworker: Did you fart?
Boss: Did you fart?
Female coworker: No. I would fart but that one wasn’t mine.

8531 Olive Blvd
St Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: The Girl

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist