Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Assistant to director: I think I'm going to ride your beast tonight. (pause) Wait. That came out wrong.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss: I’ve got part of the Kama Sutra on my wall.
Employee: Do we need to talk to H.R.?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
Chairman: It will be easy, like pulling a greasy stick out a dog’s arse.
Employee: That’s all well and good, but we have to get the greasy stick in there first!
Barrow-in-Furness
Cumbria, England
Woman #1: Oh my god! My husband sent me three dozen roses for no reason!
Woman #2: Wow, someone really wants a blowjob.
Boss: Hey, you can’t say ‘blowjob’! We have young interns working here!
Woman #2: Are you serious? Those intern sluts give blowjobs in their sleep.
New Jersey
Boss: How many servers do you think Google has?
Lackey: Infinite.
Boss: Infinite? You’re a retard.
15 Alatarinda Road
Orinda, California
Overheard by: choking on a brownie
Supervisor: Can you pull out of there now?
Peon: I'm not quite done with it yet.
Sacramento, California
Boss to underling: Takes me 10, 12 times to get to the hole. That's the way it is.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: DirtyContractor
Boss: I sent you an email.
Assistant: Oh, thanks.
Pause
Boss: You going to read it?
Assistant: No, I don’t do emails anymore. I gave that up.
Boss: Hmmm…. I like that. “I don’t do emails anymore”. I like that. I’m going to go with it.
Assistant: Yeah, it’s working for me so far.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss, during full staff meeting: So I asked him, “why does a person need semen to mow the lawn?”
Underling, quietly, to no one in particular: Does she know that's a double entendre?
Presenter, loudly: So back to the operating budget…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: No you did not
