Employee: That astronaut chick had to be totally nuts to put on a diaper and drive 13 hours to whack that other woman.
Boss: Well, astronauts do have to wear diapers in space. She probably had some around the house.
Employee: Oh? So it’s part of her culture.
Boss, laughing: When the cops finally caught her, she calmly said, ‘This was a bad idea.’
Employee: The gun or the diapers?
7 West 29th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Fabio
Supervisor: I’m sorry, you guys are going to have to keep this door to the hallway open.
Temp: But it’s so noisy out there.
Supervisor: I’m sorry, but we like to have an open door policy. If you want, you can come talk to me about it privately at any time.
1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: a different temp
Boss, sitting at peon's desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You're not ergonomically correct.
Des Moines, Iowa
Boss to underling: Would you please go next door and politely shoot their dog?
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Boss to underling: It's not that Ender's Game is Sci-Fi, it's just set in the future.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: annoyed office mate
Engineer: So, we think we got the problem with the RAM failures locked down.
Boss: You’ve really been engorged this week, haven’t you?
Engineer: What?
6540 Lusk Boulevard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Im engorged this week…
Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Assistant to director: I think I'm going to ride your beast tonight. (pause) Wait. That came out wrong.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss: I’ve got part of the Kama Sutra on my wall.
Employee: Do we need to talk to H.R.?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
Chairman: It will be easy, like pulling a greasy stick out a dog’s arse.
Employee: That’s all well and good, but we have to get the greasy stick in there first!
Barrow-in-Furness
Cumbria, England
