Boss: Can I see your boobs today?
Underling: Now would be a good time to put in my two weeks.
950 Eller Drive
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Boss: Can I see your boobs today?
Underling: Now would be a good time to put in my two weeks.
950 Eller Drive
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Attorney: Okay, lay down on your desk.
Paralegal: Okay, but don’t look at my butt.
Attorney, after long pause: Wow, you have an amazing pain tolerance!
Burien, Washington
Overheard by: third wheel
IT guy: Hey, can I convince one of you to go get me and my friends a coffee?
Production manager: What friends? All I see is you.
IT guy: My friends. Y’know, the people I hang with.
Production manager: No one hangs with you.
Production assistant: Yeah, you smell bad.
Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: I wouldn’t even be able to kill myself right today. I’d screw it up.
Employee: If it makes you feel better I knocked myself unconscious this weekend.
Boss: Yeah, actually, it does.
323 East Grand River
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Pam Beasley
Boss, walking over to two female employees reading The Financial Times: Is that paper pink? What paper is that?
Underling: It's special. Just for girls.
Boss, cautiously: Oh, okay. Carry on.
San Francisco, California
Old maid boss: Do you have a boner over there?
Young male worker, confused: I’m sorry, what?
Old maid boss: A boner. For folding paper [holds up knife]. Do you have one?
Young male worker: How can you seriously be calling it that? I know you know what that means.
Old maid boss: No, I know you need one if you don’t have one. I’ll get another one.
Young male worker: I know you know what that means. I know you know what that means. I don’t want anything to do with it.
6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Manager: Will you help him on this issue?
Buyer #1: I’d be happy to help him.
15 minutes pass.
Buyer #2: If you just don’t do your work, they won’t fire you; they’ll
just give it to somebody else.
6808 Lake Worth Boulevard
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Cube Monkey
Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!
Employee: Ouch?
Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at it and touching it, but I’m scared to put any medicine on my private place.
Employee: Oh. That is a problem.
Manager: I know. Oh, I’m itching again, I’ll be right back. [Goes to the restroom.]Employee, to coworker: I’m picturing her 50-year-old, ant-bitten vagina right now, and I want to stab myself to get that image out of my head.
Sandwich shop
South Carolina
Boss: You like that little tool, don't you?
Worker: The keyboard? Yeah, it's great.
Uniontown, Ohio
Boss: You shouldn’t keep your desk so clean.
Analyst: You want me to make a mess on my desk before I leave every night?
Boss: It’s a perception thing.
1 American Road
Cleveland, Ohio
