Boss: How was your day?
Employee miming pointing a gun to his head: Know what I mean? But it’s over now.
Boss: My father killed himself six months ago.
Employee: Did he use a gun?
47 Catherwood Road
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: I prefer the
Boss: How was your day?
Employee miming pointing a gun to his head: Know what I mean? But it’s over now.
Boss: My father killed himself six months ago.
Employee: Did he use a gun?
47 Catherwood Road
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: I prefer the
Boss: What's up?
Underling: Trying to dig deep, man. Make something happen.
Boss: I do that every morning around 10… Make something big happen.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Could you be anymore Michael Scott?
Boss: So, the word from corporate is that we’re supposed to hang these on the windows as part of the new plan from Marketing?
Marketing assistant: Yeah.
Boss: But corporate service requirements say we’re not ever allowed to hang anything on any windows.
Marketing assistant: Right. Essentially, we have to figure out a way to put them on the windows without actually putting them on the windows.
Boss: Awesome.
West Creek Drive
Richmond, Virginia
Office girl arriving in meeting: Is there anywhere I can sit?
Manager: My face, but I can’t say that because I just got out of sensitivity training.
North Hollywood, California
Overheard by: I have a face too
Manager: Did you see the game last night?
Coordinator: I was drunk. [Takes bite of Oreo.]Manager: Huh?
Coordinator: Yeah, I’m drunk every day. S’matter of fact, I’m drunk right now!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Manager: It is important that you put any call through to me today — my mother-in-law is dying.
Receptionist: Is she okay?
Manager: No, she’s dying.
Davey Street
Hobart
Australia
Peon: Did you know there’s a Ballsville, Virginia?
Ops manager: Yeah. It’s right in this office.
400 Westfield Road
Charlottesville, Virginia
Marketing manager: Do you want some vegan nuts?
Operations wonk (after long pause): I don't think you should ever say that to me again.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Septimus
Intern: My uterus is dry-heaving.
Supervisor: Wow.
242 West 38th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Lauren*: So I went on this diet and I was eating cream of mushroom soup. And I thought, “wow, this is awfully thick. It's like pudding!” Then I realized you're supposed to put water in it.
Boss: Jesus Christ, Lauren*!
Lauren*: I know, right?
Boss: Why did we hire you again?
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Aeirlys
