Director: My weekend sucked… How was yours?
Minion: Great! I woke up Saturday morning with peanut butter on my face. Still can't figure that one out.
Boss, laughing: Did you have patches of hair missing too? I've heard that's bad.
Minion: No, that was my dog.
Lenexa, Kansas
Overheard by: I don't want to work with here anymore
Bored secretary: Don't my nails look great? That stand in the mall polished them with dead sea scrolls!
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Coworker, very matter-of-factly: Well, that's why I don't have stomach problems. I don't watch the news, I don't read the paper, and the only financial thing I watch is my bank account.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: The receptionist hears the craziest stuff
Co-owner of company to underling: Was she able to tell that you were vegetarian by looking at your fingers?
Branchburg, New Jersey
Old female shop assistant: The company uses really good boxes to send their stuff in, hey…
Young female shop assistant: What's so good about them?
Old female shop assistant: They're really easy to fold, not hard or anything.
Young female shop assistant: Yes, I love a good box.
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Ellie
Office worker #1: Marta's got a heart-on!
Office worker #2: What?
Office worker #1: A heart. She's wearing a heart necklace! She has a heart necklace on today.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: E.
Female co-worker #1: So, I watched this special on TV about how some people are born with two distinct sets of DNA. They had a guy on it that was half white and half black.
Female co-worker #2: Having one black nut and one white nut would be awesome.
Female co-worker #1: Um, yeah.
2600 McHale Court
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: John da peon
Loud educator to others: Why does everything I touch get hard?
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: G-wiz
Cougar colleague: It was so embarrassing–I was putting cream on my buns…
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Female drone: Would you give that to me now, please? I really need it.
Male drone: I already did it; look again.
Female drone: Oh! Oh! There it is! It went straight into my junk!
Eldersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: irrelevant
