Girl: How big is it?
Guy: 19 inches.
Girl: Only?
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Girl: How big is it?
Guy: 19 inches.
Girl: Only?
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Girl: Which one will fit in my port?
IT guy: The plugs are all the same size.
Girl: Oh, so I just push it in? I don't want to just jam it in there and not have anything happen for me.
NIH Campus
Bethesda, Maryland
Office drone to another: I just put it in my mouth thinking it was sweet, started sucking on it and it keeps getting hotter.
Department of Commerce
South Carolina
Boss: I got my wife a colonic for Valentines Day.
Employee: Oh yeah, sounds romantic.
Boss: It's like Groundhog Day.
Employee: With Bill Murray.
Boss: Yeah, it comes out for a little peek.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Why be fake
Producer: I promise you, strawberry tastes better than ass.
Culver City, California
Overheard by: LaLa Land
Boss: I'm jealous, I wish I had a colon infection.
Falls Church, Virginia
Female: Dude, did I tell you what happened the last time we ate here together?
Male little person: No, what?
Female: Sheila* saw us and said to me “Dude, I totally saw you eating lunch with a midget. What's up with that?”
Male little person: Ummmm, okay.
Female: But I said “Oh, I know I was totally with a midget, but he has the hugest cock ever. I've totally seen it.”
Male little person: Ummmm, okay. Thanks for the recommendation, I guess?
Female: She said she's going to call you.
Sacramento, California
Cubicle dweller: If they can clone my dog, they can clone me a liver on the side.
Seattle, Washington
Maintenance worker, running into hotel lobby: Look at my union suit! It's a two piece! It was a one piece but I cut it in half because it was ridin' my crotch like a motherfucker!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Desk clerk
Woman to group: Yeah, so she had her baby through c-section.
Surprised woman, interrupting: C-section? Why?
Woman: I don't know, maybe they glued her clitter shut.
Serious woman: Nice, Jane.
Michigan
