Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can't do it because my eyes are all squinty.
Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.
Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that's because of where you're from.
Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?
Thousand Oaks, California
Manager: I've got an inch and a half I can stick in that hole.
Kansas
Customer service girl: We're going to send you a new bush.
San Diego, California
Coworker to another: They are just too hard. I guess I'm just anal about wrapping my wieners.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: Brent
Cube monkey #1: Will you take my bladder to the bathroom?
Cube monkey #2: Only if you take my colon.
Miramar, Florida
Overheard by: MKC
Cube rat #1: These nuts taste old.
Cube rat #2: What did you just say?
Cube rat #1: Nothing.
Detroit, Michigan
Job super: You know, Abby*'s got big tits but she can be really thick sometimes.
Carlstadt, New Jersey
Son to mom: Who are the Harlem Globetrotters?
Mom: They're the guys that do tricks with their balls.
Tacoma, Washington
Overheard by: Super Bob
Guy intern: So what do you think about girl on girl?
Girl intern #1: I think a tongue is a tongue.
Guy intern: Hmmm? Okay–whatever floats your boat! (to girl intern #2) So what do you think about girl on girl?
Girl intern #2: I think my boat needs to be floating before a tongue is a tongue.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: angie c
Office lady #1: I like your balls. (points at sweater)
Office lady #2: Thanks, I finally got some.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: wish I had some
