Chick #1: That’s a really nice dress. How much did it cost?
Chick #2: Oh, um, $3500.
Chick #1: $3500! For a sun dress?!
Chick #2: Oh! You said “dress.” I thought you said “breasts.”
3200 Fifth Avenue
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Snarfed my Soda
Clerk: What is your occupation, ma’am?
Girl: Umm, a co-worker.
1 S. Maple Street
Jamestown, Ohio
Girl #1: What country is Paul* from?
Girl #2: He’s Albanian. [Girl #1 is silent.] You know… Albania?
Girl #1: Isn’t that where all the albinos come from? I didn’t know Paul was albino!
Copperfield College
Melbourne
Australia
Bimbette: I’m not a flaming liberal. I think you should be able to kill any animal you want… and eat it, too!
135 Baltimore Street
Hanover, Pennsylvania
Girl on cell: Did I show my tits? Well, I know what that means. If a guy dreams about a girl he knows and she’s naked, then it doesn’t mean that he, you know, likes her or wants to fuck her. It means that he cherishes her. Yeah, really. [Long pause.] Well, I don’t know what that means. That’s the weirdest dream I ever heard.
University of Colorado
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Amused Psych Prof
White girl: Jesus, I just got called a nigger!
Filipino girl: What? On your break?
White girl: Yeah! And by a black person. Homeless. Wouldn’t give her money. I’m about as cracker as you get… total whitey. I mean, I’m wearing Banana Republic.
1900 Broadway
Oakland, California
Cute office peon: What’s wrong, Tom*?
Tom: I’m just feeling a little depressed today.
Cute office peon: Why?
Tom: I had planned this party over the weekend, and no one showed up.
Cute office peon: Don’t feel bad about that, Tom. It’s not your fault that your friends can’t come!
5500 University Parkway
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: And she knows this how?
Blonde: Mmm… It smells so good in here. Doesn’t it smell good in here? I love it! I just want to eat what’s in my nose right now!
Friend: I know!
Arkansas
Woman sipping her soda through a straw, the day after the super bowl: If I suck hard enough, will Justin Timberlake come?
Lincoln Village Drive
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: That’s What She Said
Woman: I hate working here. It makes me want to throw my morals out the window, and become a slut.
Co-worker: A slut…There’s an image for you.
Woman: I don’t mean I want to be a slut. I just want to know what all these people are like in bed. No one small, of course.
Co-worker: So you’ll be handing out a questionnaire?
56 59 Junction
Baldwin City, Kansas
