Office manager to coworker's dog who followed him into the office: Do you like this deal?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: I talk to animals too
Lady: You know, birds squawk when they aren't getting any.
Man: Yeah, I know what you mean.
(ten minutes later)
Man: (squawking around office)
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: let there be DAVE
Temp: So the seal was playing a wind instrument?
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Temp: We found some old mice in the trashcan. I don’t really think they belong in there.
Tech guy: I think that’s a problem for facilities. Are they dead or alive?
Maryville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Cinderella
Cube rat to another: I don't want to play your stupid game, I just want the purple monkey!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Older woman: Yes, I have fifteen years of commission-only sales experience, and I’m accustomed to traveling four days out of the week.
Interviewer: Oh, um, well that’s great. Um, yes, some of our new hires don’t like traveling because it’s so lonely and can be far from home and, um, you know, like solitudish and lonely.
Older woman: That’s okay with me. Travel is fine, but I can’t travel for three weeks out and one week home. I have two cats. I can leave them for four days at a time but not three weeks.
Interviewer: Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate ’cause we really would like you for the job. Well, um, if something would happen that would mean you could take this job, um, like I won’t get into what that would be or anything morbid or sad or anything…but you could always re-apply.
6500 Matalin Place
Louisville, Kentucky
Dean: I'm like catnip to women over 80!
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: meow?
Female coworker #1: Squiggy committed suicide last night.
[Long pause.]Female coworker #1: He seems to have jumped out of the tank and shriveled up on the desk top… so it looks like I’ll be getting another guppy.
Female coworker #2: Looks like it.
Female coworker #1: Or… Yeah, I guess I’ll get another guppy.
Baltimore, Maryland
40-something owner: I was working with my horse this weekend but he was being difficult. He was acting like a faggot!
Gay employee: Excuse me! I find that extremely offensive!
40-something owner: Well, you know what I mean. “Faggot” is what my friends and I used to call each other when we were kids.
Southern California
Overheard by: Could have been anybody…
Cosmetics dept. drone: This spider snuck up on me, so all of a sudden I stopped servicing my customer.
Rockford, Illinois
