Secretary: Have you seen that movie The Happening?
Boss: Is that with Marky Mark?
Secretary: I think so, that's Mark Wahlberg right?
Boss: Yeah, can you feel the vibrations?
Secretary: I don't think you're allowed to ask me that.
Las Cruces, New Mexico
Administrative assistant to receptionist: I think you think I'm thinking of something other than what I'm thinking of…not what you're thinking of.
Duluth, Georgia
Overheard by: Huh?
Supervisor, hanging up phone with crazy caller: She said Nancy Pelosi told her she could call in.
Secretary: Who's that?
Supervisor, stunned: The Speaker of the House?
Secretary: What house?
Supervisor: The one of ill-repute down on Marshall Street.
County Courthouse
Norristownm, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Female admin #1: So, how's Pepe doing?
Female admin #2: He's a figment of his own imagination.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Melissa
Secretary #1: I just read that thong panties are “bacteria highways” from back to front!
Secretary #2: I am highway-free, I think. Maybe some traffic jams, though.
Secretary #1: Huh?
Fairbanks, Alaska
Overheard by: OMG
Secretary: Where are my scissors? Did you take my scissors? You're always taking my stuff!
Junior suit: Do you see me cutting anything?
Secretary: I'll cut you up.
Junior suit: With what?
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Secretary: I figured that's why you were upstairs…going crazy with a cheese log.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: sounds yummy
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew.
Secretary #2: Excuse me?
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew. (pause) My boobs are sweating.
Wilmington, Delaware
Boss to secretary: At my last job, the two tech guys were the happiest. Except for the one that killed himself.
Denver, Colorado
Administrative assistant: Are you feeling okay?
Redneck supervisor: You know me, sometimes I like to overdose.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: (Not so Redneck) Supervisor
