Coworker #1, at the end of the day: That's it, I'm going to pick up my daughter from school, go home, and take drugs!
Coworker #2: What did you say ?
Coworker #1: I'm going home.
Coworker #2: No, that other part.
Coworker #1: I am going home to take drugs until I'm in heaven.
Herndon, Virginia
Receptionist on phone: I'm never making a loaf again!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Justin
Cubicle guy #1: So your sister had surgery?
Cubicle guy #2: Yeah, she had a hysterectomy.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh, wow, so she don't want more kids.
Cubicle guy #2: Well, she had a c-section with the last one and there was so much scar tissue in her uterus that she was having never-ending periods and just bleeding for months on end. She said she was not doing anything but bleeding and passing golf ball-sized clots and ruining her furniture, clothes, sheets. She was tired of having really bloody periods.
Cubicle guy #1: Oh.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Rachael
Slick young professional woman, deadpan: I've said so many horrible things about him, it will be nice to finally meet him in person.
Harlem, New York
Shabbily dressed Jewish loan officer: Who? That Nazi Mel Gibson? I hate that Nazi! I'll kill him!
Southfield, Michigan
Cube #1: Uh, what's shingles?
Cube #2: It's like chicken pox.
Cube #3: Thank god I got chicken pox as a kid! I don't want no shingles!
Washington, DC
Peon: I think I'm going Indian for lunch.
Manhattan, New York
Manager: Don't listen to me, I have ADD and want PCP!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
