Pretty girl: Sorry, I got distracted by my trash can!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Pretty girl: Sorry, I got distracted by my trash can!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Customer service rep, randomly: Oh my god, I wanna watch Flashdance so bad!
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Director (without any trace of irony): So we're going to do a high five every time? That's a great idea!
Producer: Yeah–let's get you all in a circle for the high five.
Onscreen talent (forming a circle): Let's get merchandising! (group high five)
Westfield, New Jersey
Sales rep to another: Turns out I'm not on heroin.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Client: Sorry I didn't call you yesterday, I had to chase my 25-pound dog for 40 blocks.
Sales rep: Oh yeah? What kind of dog?
Client: Apparently a Mexican one, if he can't understand when I tell him to stop.
Sales rep: That just means he pretends not to speak English so he doesn't have to listen to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Clarissa StTacocrotch
Manager, philosophically: Whores have their time and place… They serve a purpose too.
Chico, California
Cubicle drone #1: Why don't you just stick your mouth over your brother's ass and swallow his fart?
Cubicle drone #2: Then it wouldn't taste fruity.
Aventura, Florida
Overheard by: lizzo
Girl #1: Hey, when is that festival?
Girl #2: I think it’s sometime in the beginning of May?
Girl #1: We should totally go.
Girl #2: Yes… It will be fun, we can run over pedestrians like your mom did that one time.
Girl #1: Oh yeah! I forgot about that…
Girl #2: Haha, she just kept driving.
Greene Turtle, Main Street
Bel Air, Maryland
Overheard by: GlynnisO
Boss to employee: Lepers don't change their spots.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Chad
Chatty IT guy: He's 94 years old. Who cares if he's a heroin addict?
Kansas City, Missouri
