Frustrated office dweller: Die, die, die! Poke you in the eye!
West Perth
Australia
Overheard by: IT Guru
Frustrated coworker: I'm not showin' him no dodgy papers!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Office girl, calling boss on phone: Hey! Uh… Help me out here. What's that research called that they're doing with the baby fetuses?
Boss: Umm… What?
Office girl: Did I lose you?
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: freudian flip
Coworker to boss: Look at my naked juice! (pause) It's got protein!
Phoenix, Arizona
Coworker on speakerphone: He tried to put it in today, but he can't get it in the hole.
Boss: Didn't we give him dimensions, Chuck?
Coworker: Yes, we did, but they were too big.
Boss: Let's make a template!
South Carolina
Overheard by: AlyssaFaith
Boss to underling: Well, he just bought a house so now we know that fucker is staying.
Tempe, Arizona
Employee #1: What would you be? A zombie or a zombie hunter?
Employee #2: I think I'd just be a victim.
Employee #1: A vampire?
Employee #3, derisively: Vampires aren't real.
Chico, California
Overheard by: Dinah
Female cube rat #1: I got gasoline panties and I'm going to hell. Hahahahaha!
Female cube rat #2: Gasoline panties? What?
Female cube rat #1: Gasoline panties! And I'm burning in hell! Hehehe!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Loud colleague to coworkers: Did you eat my teeth?
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Worker #1: Say what you want about me, I get shit fucking done.
Worker #2: Yes, you are an excellent shit fucker.
Boca Raton, Florida
