New supervisor, straight from the military: It’s my job to protect you from the people above me.
26-year veteran of the agency: I’ve got Jesus and a man. I don’t need any more protection than that.
Federal Office Building
Washington DC
Overheard by: Wasting my best years
Receptionist: I’m sorry, sir, you’ll have to call 4-1-1 for that number.
Customer: Who should I ask for?
Receptionist: What company are you looking for?
Customer: National Association of Pizza Deliverers*.
Receptionist: Um, then that’s who you should ask for.
Washington, DC
Middle-aged woman: Are you going anywhere for the holidays?
Elderly man, clearly disappointed: No–I'm not up to traveling this year.
Middle-aged woman, excitedly: Good for you! Save those carbon credits!
Penn Quarter
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jonathan
Woman #1: Does this copier work?
Woman #2: Yes, but it’s not turned on. It will take a while to warm up.
Woman #1: I’m in a hurry, so I guess I’ll just go to another office and use theirs.
Woman #2: Why don’t you just use our other copier?
Woman #1: It’s not working.
Woman #2: Really? I just used it last night.
Woman #1, going to copier: See? It says, ‘Paper tray empty. Please load paper.’
425 I Street
Washington, DC
Underling to another: As someone who owns not one but two pairs of Dale Earnhardt pajama pants, I am in no position to criticize you for growing up in a trailer park.
Washington, DC
Woman at table with friends: Eskimos are really fascinating. Did you know that they almost always have twins? (friends shake their heads) Oh, wait. I mean sheep.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/11/now-i-want-some-eskimo-cheese.html
Overheard by: Ian
Intern #1: How did the interview go?
Intern #2: You know how punctuality is a good thing?
Intern #1: Oh my gosh, were you late?
Intern #2: No, I was two weeks early.
1150 17th Street NW
Washington, DC
New mother, about boss’s new book: I’ll pop a boob out while I’m looking at the book. [Coworkers look shocked.] Oh, no! I meant while I’m breastfeeding!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Female coworker to boss: So Matt makes fun of Meredith and Meredith makes fun of Matt, and *everyone* makes fun of Meredith, but *nobody* makes fun of Ann.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Creative Bunny
Boss: Who wants to do these reports?
Enthusiastic lady: I’ll take them! Will be done in no time.
Boss, 15 minutes later: Are those reports ready, Angie*?
Enthusiastic lady: I’m still on it.
Boss, 15 minutes later: I need those reports now.
Enthusiastic lady: I am working on them as fast as I can. [Boss leaves, then] Why does he give me so much work and keep asking me if it’s done?!
4340 Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: did not ask for work
