Student teaching CPR: They're unconscious. They won't know what's going on, so it's all good.
Leesburg, Virginia
Student teaching CPR: They're unconscious. They won't know what's going on, so it's all good.
Leesburg, Virginia
Coworker #1: Did you have the pleasure of talking to that nasty woman on the phone?
Coworker #2: Believe me, I've had plenty of nasty women this week.
Richmond, Virginia
Suit to friend: Nobody at work knows I have pierced nipples. Including me.
Fair Lakes, Virginia
Phone rep on cell: All right, we'll just keep giving praise to god then!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Big Shot: Well, damn, the printer really is low on toner. I’m not gonna strain my eyes to read this junk. Now I have to reprint the whole document. Guess that’s my reward for trying to take work home over the weekend!
Peon: So, do you want me to recycle the faded pages?
Big Shot: What? No, just toss it.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Co-worker: How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t do that? It’s like adding apples and morons.
2011 Mahone Avenue
Fort Lee, Virginia
Overheard by: jordan
Worker #1: Jane* is leaving. Not to a different job, just to figure stuff out.
Worker #2: I wonder where she's going…
Worker #3: Well, she could move. She has no family. No kids. No husband or partner.
Worker #4: Oh, then maybe she's just going to go kill herself.
Worker #1: I think she just saw Eat Pray Love.
Worker #2: Are you guys being sarcastic?
Reston, Virginia
Employee #1: This old fart is so devious and evil that if you lock him up alone in the room he would curse his own self.
Employee #2: Shit, if he was the only person left on this earth he would start building conspiracies with his own balls, trying to antagonize his lefty against the righty.
Winchester, Virginia
Postal employee: Step up, my man, and take a chance on a postal worker on his second day on the job!
Lorton, Virginia
Overheard by: Another civil servant
IT guy, while waiting for coworker's computer to load: So, what kind of name is your last name, anyways?
20-something coworker: German.
IT guy: Ah… So, you ever been over to those concentration camps? The closest I ever got to was the Holocaust Museum downtown.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Jen
