Virginia

Loud woman in elevator, on phone: I don't delete…it's not in my blood to delete!

Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Receptionist

Employee #1: If you want to send me your resume, I’ll see if they’re looking to hire designers. I think they are.
Employee #2: Does the place resemble Hell?
Employee #1: You mean like here?
Employee #2: Yeah. Like, if it’s a few shades lighter red, and about half the amount of writhing souls, I’d be interested.

Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: cube prisoner

Office grunt: Now, just so you understand — I’m no stranger to drugs.

Winchester, Virginia

Overheard by: where’s the good stuff

Co-worker #1: Are the movers coming?
Co-worker #2: You might want to shut down your computer and gather you things so they can bring in your desk.
Co-worker #1: What time will they be here?
Co-worker #2: Noon. So you’ve got some time.
Co-worker #1: It’s 12:45!
Co-worker #2: Oh my gosh! I’ve got to start wearing a watch.
Co-worker #1: Why don’t you?
Co-worker #2: They give me rashes.

5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia

Coworker #1: Who is George W. Bush? Which one is he?
Coworker #2: You have got to be kidding me.

Government Agency
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: laughing hysterically

Birthday cake passer outer: Hey, don’t you want a fork?
Old, creepy IT guy: No, I’ll just finger it.

Highwoods Parkway
Glen Allen, Virginia

Overheard by: Not even surprised

Employee: I’d like a minute to talk with you about my contribution here and my compensation.
Manager: No.

Falls Church, Virginia

Overheard by: GAMA Girl

Office worker to secretary, in raspy voice: I need something to suck on, my throat is killing me.

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Geoff

Staff Auditor: Hey [Senior Audtior], your wife is on the phone. Should we tell her the audit room smells too badly and you will call her back?
Senior Auditor: Yeah…

2345 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Smell E. Lotz

Co-worker #1: Why do you keep breaking your pens? That’s company property.
Co-worker #2: I break things so I don’t have to kill again.

120 East Shore Drive
Glen Allen, Virginia

Overheard by: Chris