Virginia

Bimbette, loudly: My name is not Kielbasa!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: we call her Meathead

Customer: So, this Wild Mushroom Pizza, does it have mushrooms on it?
Waitress: Ummm, yeah.

701 Lynnhaven Parkway
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Cassandra

VP #1, during meeting: Yeah, she had the shingles.
VP #2: Okay, moving on…
VP #1: All over her back!

Glen Allen, Virginia

Overheard by: Shingle(less) White Female

IT guy: Let me make sure everything is kosher with the server.
Brand manager: Do you need a rabbi for that?
IT guy: All the servers come with a rabbi chip now.

259 Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia

Auditor: What is a ‘Dutch Auction Tender Offer’? Is that where they go to Dutch and have an auction? … Where is Dutch?

Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia

Customer: You mean you don’t have any wheelchair seats left for that matinee?
Assistant manager: No ma’am. We have a lot of senior citizen groups that come to matinees and they tend to fill up our wheelchair seats.
Customer: Well, I would say put me and my husband in two regular seats, but he doesn’t have any legs!
Husband: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
Assistant manager: Ummm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.

Shenandoah University Theatre ticket office
Winchester, Virginia

Overheard by: Jennifer Ellerbe

Female coworker, coughing: I didn't know if I got another STD or what… (pause) Would you like a cupcake? It's homemade!

Fredericksburg, Virginia

Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…

Alexandria, Virginia

Grad student: A few months ago she said it was national bring-your-bunny-to-work day– which I'm pretty sure she made up…so when I walked by her cube she had the bunny in a makeshift fort between her purse and some binders. And the next time I walked by, eight members of the senior staff were sitting in a circle on the floor playing with the bunny in the middle.

Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Intern

Cube dweller #1: Did you like the cookies Tom handed out yesterday?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, they were real good.
Cube dweller #3: I liked them.
Cube dweller #1: I love moist cookies. They really excite me!

Herndon, Virginia