Lady peon: What do you call those cows that you eat?
114 New Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: russ
Lady peon: What do you call those cows that you eat?
114 New Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: russ
Minion: Do you seriously want to go off on a Chinese hamster ovary tangent? I mean, who gives a crap?
1959 NE Pacific Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Coworker: I’m lucky I wasn’t raised by my mother. I’d have turned out a total slut. She’d wear high heels to her job at the sawmill.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Innocent Bystander
Cube rat #1: Damn, you had braces for seven years and your teeth are still that fucked up?
Cube rat #2: Yeah? You’ve been on a diet for two years and your ass is still that fat?
Trenton, New Jersey
Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Boss : What is that red thing on top of a rooster’s head called? I can’t find a description anywhere on the Internet.
Employee: Just Google ‘cock’ and ‘diagram.’
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Sailorette
Sensitive soul: She’s gotten heavier, so now I can beat her.
Central Street
Evanston, Illinois
Older lady on phone: I don’t have any gorillas today! (Pause) No, I’m sorry. I was just trying to be funny.
Hose parts corporate office
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Hiding in my cube
IT manager: Sometimes when I’m down and nothing makes any sense, I just pretend I work for Emeril Lagasse.
West Village
New York, New York
Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.
7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
