United States

Female engineer: I need to hear some boy bands.
Male coworker: Like ‘N Sync, 98 Degrees, Backdoor Boys.
Female engineer: I love back-door boys.

Airport Rd
Mansfield Texas

Clerk #1: Sorry, I’m a little dyslexic.
Clerk #2: My dog died of dyslexia!

1901 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Office Droid

Elevator girl: I rode in the weenie mobile last night!
Elevator guy: Is that a euphemism?
Elevator girl: No! He really came! Oh…

Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas

Girl #1: So I was about to put my tongue in…
Girl #2: Ew, was it hairy?
Girl #1: Yeah, but his mom called, so I didn’t have to.

College office
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: uh…

Employee, loudly and angrily into walkie: I am implementing customer service now!

620 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

White HR director: I’ve never touched someone’s head like that before! I touched it, and it was all wavy. I told him, you’re the first African-American person’s head I’ve ever touched. You should feel honored.

8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Just an office girl…

Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.

1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter

Sales guy: Oh, crap! I left the cap off my Sharpie last night! [Tries it on paper] Oh, no! What can I do?!
Cube rat #1: Well, you could try running a little water over the tip. Or, um, you could just throw it away and get a new one.
Sales guy: Put some water on it? Would that work?
Cube rat #2: Is it a Sharpie or a marker?
Cube rat #3: If putting water on it doesn’t work, try licking it.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Older gentleman at counter: So, if my application is approved for the remote entry program, I can enter the U.S. after hours?
Customs officer: Yes, sir.
Older gentleman: But what’s with this border passport requirement?
Customs officer, uncomfortable: The remote entry pass is for when the port is closed, sir. You will still need a passport to enter when we are open.

Customs office, Northern Border

Bible-thumping coworker: It’s my son’s 35th birthday today. I can’t believe my oldest is going to be 35.
Normal coworker: Oh? How many children do you have?
Bible-thumping coworker: Let’s see… I have three biological and one spiritual. But we’re much more than spiritual, really. It’s like we have this connection.
Normal coworker, to herself: Riiiiight.

100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio