The Real Battle Is between Flesh and Synthetic Fibers

Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.

Piedmont, South Carolina

Overheard by: Ape

Posted on December 6, 2017
Coworkers, Midsouth, South Carolina, United States

I Think You’ll Like the Results

Boss : What is that red thing on top of a rooster’s head called? I can’t find a description anywhere on the Internet.
Employee: Just Google ‘cock’ and ‘diagram.’

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Sailorette

Posted on December 30, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Indiana, Midwest, Possible Sexual Harassment, United States

She Just Can’t Drive for the Hoop Now That She’s Pregnant

Sensitive soul: She’s gotten heavier, so now I can beat her.

Central Street
Evanston, Illinois

Posted on October 24, 2015
Diet & Weight, Illinois, Midwest, United States

And All of My Hose Jokes Were Already Exhausted

Older lady on phone: I don’t have any gorillas today! (Pause) No, I’m sorry. I was just trying to be funny.

Hose parts corporate office
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Hiding in my cube

Posted on July 5, 2015
Arizona, On the phone, Southwest, United States

In What Capacity, I Will Not Say

IT manager: Sometimes when I’m down and nothing makes any sense, I just pretend I work for Emeril Lagasse.

West Village
New York, New York

Posted on June 15, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Metro Northeast, New York, Tech People, United States

Time for a Conversation with Jessica Simpson

Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.

7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on May 10, 2015
General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Midwest, Minnesota, Suits, United States

Somebody’s Gotta Do It If We’re Gonna Eat ‘Em

Tester #1: Don’t mess with me like that. I’m cracked out on Vitamin C.
Tester #2: You know, too much Vitamin C makes you itch. Itch like crazy. Itchy scratchy.
Tester #1: Who told you that?
Tester #2: My grandma.
Tester #1: Didn’t your grandma kill chickens?
Tester #2: That’s beside the point.

1555 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, Virginia