Tester #1: Don’t mess with me like that. I’m cracked out on Vitamin C.
Tester #2: You know, too much Vitamin C makes you itch. Itch like crazy. Itchy scratchy.
Tester #1: Who told you that?
Tester #2: My grandma.
Tester #1: Didn’t your grandma kill chickens?
Tester #2: That’s beside the point.
1555 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington, Virginia
Former secretary: They fired me! Can you believe that? They fired me because they said I had a shitty fuckin’ attitude!
Student government office
New York, New York
Overheard by: Still laughing
Supervisor: Well, if that’s the case, all I need is a panda, a gun, and a bottle of wine.
Naperville, Illinois
Female coworker to male coworker: Do these pants make me look like I have a penis?
Lisbon Street
Lewiston, Maine
Client: Who owns the Internet?
Sales guy: Nobody.
Client: Well, somebody’s making money!
Web design firm
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: office peon
Sales guy: He was from another country. A made-up country, though.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker #1: We should start a D&D game.
Coworker #2: Yeah. Let’s ask Ben* if he wants to play, too!
Coworker #1, yelling to Ben: Hey, want to play D&D later?
Ben, yelling back: No! I don’t play D&D!
Coworker #2: We thought you’d be a good Druid.
Ben, yelling back: Fuck that, I’m a thief acrobat!
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Will
Sales guy, entering a meeting: Sorry I’m late…
Director of marketing: You brought doughnuts? Coffee?
Sales guy: No.
Director of marketing: Then you’re dead to us. Get out.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Business architect: I felt the difference once it was in my mouth!
120 Fairview Park
Virginia
