Tech People

Manager: When you’re finished with the accessibility development for the hotels path, start on rental cars site.
Programmer: Um…accessibility…for rental cars?
Manager: Yes.
Programmer: So, we want to make it easier for the blind to rent cars?
Manager: Yeah…I know.

800 Connecticut Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut

Boss: Will my BlackBerry work in Thailand?
IT: Yeah, it will work anywhere in Europe.

One Allen Center
Houston, Texas

IT guy #1: Hey, you want to hear something ironic?
IT guy #2: Yes! Tell me something erotic!

Hopkinsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966

Tech support worker: This is not a train yard, and I am not a hobo.

Ontario
Canadia

Tech on phone: Please click start, type “cmd” and press enter. (pause) It should have brought up a command prompt. (pause) Nothing yet? Hmmm. Let me remote in. (starts laughing uncontrollably) Sir, you have to type “cmd” and press the enter key. Typing “cmdandpressenter” will not work. Sorry I wasn't more clear.

Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: northern lad

Boss: So when it works, does it work?
CTO: When it's working, it should work.
Boss: Good, because if it didn't work when it worked that just wouldn't work.

Houston, Texas

Tech support: Good morning, this is Steve* from technical support. I think that I have got to the problem of your bottom.

Slough
England

Director: Here’s the travel laptop I’m returning. Can you delete some of the files I put on there?
IT Manager: Yeah, sure, I’ll clean it out. I better not find any pubic hairs stuck in the keyboard.

1100 L Street NW
Washington, DC

Secretary: My mouse stopped working.
Tech guy: Was this after you dropped it?
Secretary: Yes.

Public University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Clark W.

Techie #1: You know what’s better than eating girl scout cookies?
Techie #2: Eating girl scouts?
Techie #1: Um, I was going to say, “eating girl scout cookies with milk”.
Techie #2: Yeah, that’s pretty good too.
Techie #1: You’re a fucking sicko.

1 Wall Street
Madison, Connecticut

Overheard by: ^chi^