Teacher: All right, then, so what are some of the languages that influenced the English language?
Student #1: Canadian!
Student #2: You’re dumb. This is Brit Lit… so obviously, British influenced the English language.
4771 Campus Drive
Irvine, California
Bimbette: Yeah, my dad bought me this really great promise ring for my birthday.
Teacher: Isn’t it a little too late?
High school
San Diego, California
Professor: A modern example of the peasant revolt of 1381 are the anti-poll tax riots that took place under Margaret Thatcher. She refused to work with the public, and it brought down her government. We should take a lesson from this… I hope there are no microphones in here.
Skidmore College
Saratoga Springs, New York
Overheard by: Hopes There Aren’t
Trainer: You like the weather out here?
New girl: Yeah, it’s really dry… And, um, weird for directions and stuff, you know? Like, does the sun set in the west out here, too?
Trainer: Uh, yeah.
Phoenix, Arizona
Male grad student to female TA: Oh, hey! Congratulations on not fracturing your skull!
Geology Department
University of Iowa
Overheard by: Another Grad
Trainer: When you answer the phone, feel free to say something like “good morning” or “good afternoon.”
Trainee: You mentioned “good morning” and “good afternoon” but what am I supposed to say if it's evening?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Karen
Student to professor: So, the only comment you made on my paper was that I completely missed the point of the assignment… So everything else was okay?
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Cheerleader: What’s that muscle called? My ‘gunna’?
Coach: What? Your gunna? What are you talking about?
Cheerleader, pointing to her groin: My gunna, it hurts.
Coach: You mean your groin?
Cheerleader: Yeah, my gunna hurts.
Coach: Jesus.
610 W 4th Street
Buchanan, Michigan
Overheard by: and this is my future?
Boss: And I would bet my… um… pencil, on that. Wait… what do they say?
Grad student: Ass. You'd bet your ass on that.
Boss: Oh, no. I don't want to bet that. I'll bet my favorite pencil.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
30-something coworker to staff member’s nephew: So, you can get weapons… Can you also cast spells and do magic?
Nephew, playing a medieval computer game: Yeah. That’s called ‘Religion.’ Some people get really into religion, but I don’t. I just like killing stuff.
University of Sydney office
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Wil Dog
