Mother to son: Don’t play with that stapler!
Passerby: Happy take your kid to work day.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Mother to son: Don’t play with that stapler!
Passerby: Happy take your kid to work day.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Guy: Humans are the only mammals that rape face-to-face.
Girl #1: What about dolphins?
Girl #2: But sharks don’t. Sharks dance.
Guy: Sharks aren’t mammals.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, you said mammals. But penguins don’t.
Guy: Penguins aren’t mammals either.
Tucson, Arizona
Old lady, told class would run late: I have to get home and toss my husband’s salad!
Class erupts with laughter, and the boy next to her explains the innuendo.
Old lady: If I was going to lick his ass, I’d say so… But it isn’t something I’d do before dinner.
CCSN campus
Las Vegas, Nevada
College student: The top concern on my mind right now is the hurricane that hit Haiti.
Vermillion, South Dakota
Student: I think a couple tweaks will make it better. Don’t worry; you’ll have my evaluation on your desk in a few minutes.
Instructor: I really need it. Should I get on my knees?
Student: Um.
430 South Capitol Street SE
Washington, DC
Algebra TA: Um, did anyone get this answer?
Dude #1: Well, I did, but it was after many beers and a really big piece of paper.
Dude #2: That’s the philosophy of math, isn’t it?
University of Pittsburgh, 3990 5th Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Didn’t get the same answer
Chairman of meeting: So we now have the new theme for next year's Christmas concert. It's going to be called “night of glory.”
Student representative, under her breath: Walk of shame.
Decorah, Iowa
Overheard by: Not allowed to vote in meetings
Blonde seeing Hitler in documentary: Ewww! He’s such a dickhead.
University of California Irvine
Irvine, California
Overheard by: orangepenguino
Teacher discussing domain and range: Alright, here’s a good way to look at it. Okay, so think of the number four as a child. And two is its father, because two squared is four. But wait, couldn’t negative two squared also be four? That’s why you need to limit the domain to be ‘X is greater than zero.’
Girl student #1: So, the moral of the story is to keep your housewife away from the mailman?
Teacher: Uh…
Girl student #2: Oh my god! My mailman is so hot!
High school
Florida
Bimbette #1: Would you ever eat snow?
Bimbette #2: I dunno. Would you?
Bimbette #1: Well, imagine if you were really thirsty and in the desert and there’s a whole bunch of snow…
65 St. Clair Avenue East
Toronto
Canadia
