Girl, shutting down printer: I'm gonna turn you off.
Creepster: Negative.
Costa Mesa, California
Girl, shutting down printer: I'm gonna turn you off.
Creepster: Negative.
Costa Mesa, California
Analyst: The problem, though, is that it’s not child pornography — just the regular kind.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Female admin: What were you doing here at 7:40?
Male admin: I was rummaging through your stuff.
Female admin: Find anything of interest? My stuff is pretty boring.
Male admin: Really? I found that riding crop quite interesting.
Female admin: What?! I ride horses!!
Male admin: That would explain the saddle.
80 Grasslands Road
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Secretary: What I’d give for an eight-year-old vagina again…
Orange County, California
Employee on phone: You couldn’t pay your dick three thousand dollars to work!
Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: jen
Male coworker #1: So, what do you even do back there, Allen*?
Male coworker #2: Apart from sifting through all of that mail.
Male coworker #1: And making photocopies.
Allen: Watch porn and whack off.
Male coworker #1, laughing: Seriously?
Allen: Hell yeah.
Male coworker #1: Dude. You’re my idol.
Office on 48th Avenue
New York, New York
Office chick: You know what the best part of getting McDonald's is? Just when you think you're done, you find five or six bonus fries in the bottom of the bag.
Office dude: It's the simple pleasures for you, huh?
Office chick: Oh yeah, nothing better! Something small and salty to snack on!
Office dude, filled with innuendo: In that case, I have another bonus fry for you to enjoy.
Office chick: Seriously? I think you just admitted to having a small dick.
Figueroa St
Los Angeles, California
50-something man: Well, I have to tell you: for a woman in her 50s, you still look great.
50-something woman, flattered: Yeah?
50-something man: Oh, yeah. If we weren't both married, and you didn't work for me, I'd definitely try to nail ya.
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Employee: A customer wants to know if she can have a custom doorhanger.
Manager: She can have her slits and holes wherever she wants them.
5409 N. Florida Avenue
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Julia Westenzweig
Male coworker: Hey, Liz*, let’s go to the movies tonight.
Female coworker: Are you gonna pay?
Male coworker: Are you gonna put out?
277 Park Avenue
New York, New York
