Company lawyer to copywriter: It may be wrong or stupid, but if so, we want to be consistently stupid.
Chatsworth, California
Company lawyer to copywriter: It may be wrong or stupid, but if so, we want to be consistently stupid.
Chatsworth, California
Coworker #1, to editor: Do you know where the call-in phone number on the back of XYZ Publication* goes to?
Coworker #2: I have no idea.
Coworker #1: Well, [boss] called the other day and asked where it went to. I called it just now, and it answers with the voice of Dana*, but she hasn’t worked here in seven months!
Coworker #2, looking at Dana’s empty desk area: I guess that it just goes to her phone, and whoever gets that extension will get all of the messages.
Coworker #1: So it doesn’t matter to you that readers might be calling in and leaving messages that are not being returned?
Coworker #2: No.
45 Leveroni Court
Novato, California
Manager, during meeting: … And we just don’t want any Joe Schmoe helping people on the phone… No offense, Joe.
Joe, phone answerer: Mmm.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Celebratious
Owner, to worker bee: I was told it was a good idea, so I thought it was a good idea.
Music store
Western Pennsylvania
Overheard by: tyronepower
Box office manager: Sir, this is the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. I can’t tell you how to fix your microwave.
800 East Grand Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
HR clerk on phone: Yes, it is true that flip-flops are prohibited by the company dress code… No, the addition of duct tape will not qualify flip-flops as closed-toe shoes.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Coder #1: I just can’t work in these pants!
Coder #2, raising hand: Seconded!
Boss #1: No! Motion fails!
Boss #2: Indeed — pants remain a workplace requirement!
7255 East Hampton Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Communications manager to public relations specialist about sex toy ban in Alabama: Well, we really can’t control the situation if someone chooses to take one of our novelty items and stimulate their genitals with it.
Sex toy company
Virginia
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Lawyer: No, no, men can’t touch women, but women can touch men.
Paralegal: Oh, okay. Didn’t know.
Lawyer: Yeah, but whatever.
Law office
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Pointless Temp
Boss: The nice thing is, we’re no longer people who care!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
