Female employee #1: Where does it say in my job description that I'm the aquarium maintenance person, the chocolate jockey, the expert on suicide?
Female employee #2: Yeah, but you asked for that one!
Female employee #1: Which one? The chocolate jockey?
Female employee #2: Yeah.
Female employee #3: Yee-haw! I'm riding my chocolate pony!
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Girl in cubicle: I feel so professional today… I just googled Dow Jones.
Research Triangle Park
Durham, Raleigh
Warehouse guy: Where's David?
David, from his cubicle: Oh, they let him go, man. He's gone.
Warehouse guy: Uhhmm…
Charlotte, North Carolina
Annoying IT guy behind partition: Yo, dude, I need god status on this site so I can make changes.(laughs to himself) Hey, I need god status. (another employee enters the room) Hey, yo, I need god status on this site. God status. (laughs again)
Quiet IT girl on other side of partition: Shut up!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Session leader: Now at this point, if you've been convicted guilty of a felony crime, I'll have to ask you to leave.
(one woman starts to walk out of crowded auditorium, abruptly stops halfway)
Woman: Oh, wait! What is counterfeiting?
Session leader: Mam, were you guilty?
Woman: Yes. Oh, wait. No. The trial's still going on.
Mebane, North Carolina
Boss lady: So this list needs to be redone and given back to me. The deadline is July 1st.
New worker: But it's August 10th!
Boss lady: Oh, honey, you work for the Government now, nobody gets in a hurry when they work for the Government.
Raleigh,North Carolina
Cubicle prisoner to herself: I haven’t shoved the keyboard down my throat yet.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: Everyday Monday
Superior #1: So, Joanne wasn’t umm… working out so she left… I shouldn’t say any more.
Inferior #1: She didn’t come to work naked or something?!
Superior #2: [Responds to quizzical looks from others.] That comment has a context!
Cornwallis Road
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: Ben A. Fit
Female worker #1: You couldn’t tell how big it was?
Female worker #2: Well, I hadn’t touched it before then.
The Daily Reflector
Greenville, North Carolina
Sales guy #1: What’s going on in the break room?
Sales guy #2: What? Why do you ask?
Sales guy #1: The door is closed.
Sales guy #2: Well, someone’s getting their butt chewed out or they’ve got cake in there! It’s one or the other!
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
