Office director, during phone conference: What's your phone number?
North Carolina
Overheard by: Nick
Office director, during phone conference: What's your phone number?
North Carolina
Overheard by: Nick
Melancholy sales rep: There was a time when drunk chicks were okay. Not anymore.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Sales guy #1: I wonder what milk would taste like if the cow ate an orange.
Sales chick: Would a cow even eat an orange?
Sales guy #2: Oh, yeah, they'll eat the hell outta them!
Sales guy #1: I guess it would taste like a creamsicle… Mmm-mmmm.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: I don't want to know how this started..
Worker bee #1: If only the sheets weren't green…
Counselor: Maybe blue sheets?
Worker bee #2: What's wrong with green? They've been green sheets for years! You could leave tomorrow and we'd be stuck with pink sheets!
Worker bee #1: No, I don't like pink, they wouldn't be pink. Also, where am I going?
Worker bee #2: I don't know!
(pause)
Worker bee #1: Maybe something sassy…
Counselor: Well, I'm feeling lightheaded now.
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: student worker
Girl #1, walking into the office: Boys! Sheesh!
Girl #2: What's going on?
Girl #1: The guys are all out there looking at the hole.
Girl #2: What hole?
Girl #1: The guy came to dig up the bushes by the driveway.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? I didn't even notice they were gone when I pulled in…
Girl #1: They just did it.
Girl #2: In the half-hour I've been here?
Girl #1: They had a big machine that just yanked them up.
Girl #2, moving to front door and looking for hole: Oh, yeah? Hmm…
Charlotte, North Carolina
Director: How you doing?
Sales rep #1: I'm good… but I've had a migraine all week.
Director: That sucks, doing anything this weekend?
Sales rep #1: Nah, I haven't done anything all week. I saw District 9 last night, though.
Director: Did you like it? I've heard mixed reviews.
Sales rep #1: I liked the social commentary. Plus, shit blows up. It can be the worst movie ever, but if shit blows up, I'm gonna watch it.
Director: Oh, hell yeah! You gotta watch it if shit blows up. That's like Terminator. You watch it cause shit blows up.
Sales rep #1: Yeah, or every Rambo movie.
Sales rep #2: How can you watch Rambo movies?
Director and sales rep #1: Shit blows up!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Gay coworker to female coworker in white dress: You look so “sacrificial virgin” today.
Female coworker: Um… Thank you?
Gay coworker, whispering: What kind of fabric is that?
Female coworker, whispering: Cotton.
Gay coworker: It looks fun.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Southern lady #1: Oh my goodness, I lost my ring!
Southern lady #2: Oh no! Let me help you look for it.
Southern lady #1: Well, I think I put it on today. Aw man, that's gonna bug me all day. Oh dear. Oh, wait… It's on my other hand! I found it!
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Boss to client: While we're talking about this, why don't you take your shirt off, please.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: fully dressed
Guy #1, during department meeting at adult industry company: The homemade video clips of everyday guys jacking off are actually making a lot of money, provided they're adequately equipped.
Guy #2: I know what I'm doing tonight!
Girl: Praying for a bigger penis?
Charlotte, North Carolina
