British employee: Well, this was supposed to be completed by now. It looks like it’s gone all cock-up.
American #1: What?
British employee: I’m sorry, do you not have that phrase here?
American #2: In America, you can’t say cock like that. I shouldn’t hear you say cock.
American #1: We say fuck. Fucked up.
British employee: Ok, how’s this: Fuck off.
1 Corporate Drive
Orangeburg, New York
Woman #1: I saw The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. It was really good, especially Marlon Brando.
Woman #2: Marlon Brando?
Woman #1: You know, that lady! What’s her name?
Woman #2: Meryl Streep. Marlon Brando is dead. And a man.
245 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Worker #1: I went to all the liquor stores this morning, and they were closed. They don’t open until 10 AM.
Worker #2: Well, that’s retarded. Haven’t they ever heard of mimosas?
Worker #1: Or alcoholics?
37 West 20 Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: shenanigan
Co-Worker: She sounds like she has a lot of cats. Like 40. She probably lives with these forty cats and has a pathetic life. Just listen to that voice.
5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Nicole J.
Guy #1: Who was Chief then?
Guy #2: According to the record, Dick Eaton.
Guy #3: Wait. Dick Eaton? So if he were filling out a form today, last name first, he’d be…
Guy #1: You’re right! Case closed, that says it all!
26 Federal Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: R. Smith
Manager: I made a mental note about that, but I don’t seem to have brought it with me.
State Office Campus
Albany, New York
Overheard by: schaefs
Worker #1: They’re out of orange juice again.
Worker #2: Yeah, and they haven’t refilled the cocoa slot, either.
Worker #1: They’re also out of Dr. Pepper.
Worker #3: Well, you could just have the Diet Dr. Pepper.
Worker #1: I’m not an animal!
1166 Sixth Avenue
New York, New York
Guy: I’m writing this script that takes place in an office and I was wondering, is toner flammable?
570 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ethan
Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.
390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York
Boss cleaning office: Oh, look. I found my whip.
83 East 4th Street
New York, NY
